I dun get it

Bells and whistles and gee-gaws and what-fors and

FUBAR’ed IMO

ALright, the silly ‘throws hands in air’ rant out, let me fill ya in on what brought it on.

Ram truck, 2020 model, Big monster Diesel bitch. Putting a flatbed on it. Ya’ll knew that part.

well, maybe not the year model thingy. Thats important though, in explaining ‘hands in air’ tantrums

We didn’t take the bed off this thing, that was done at the body shop that did the work on the cab. They were gonna put the bed on too, but the poor beasty sat there so long, Son of Bossman decided “naw, I gotta guy that can handle this and won’t have to wait another year for it”.

Yah, You’re looking at said guy.

Beds on, bolts in place. Plates welded where needed welded, things are tight and the hoist is secured out of the way now. And I’m looking at the old wiring harness, the parts that were returned and seeing CAMBUS everywhere. Backup camera, four backup sensors in the bumper. The Tailgate was completely electric actuated, no mechanical linkage to handle. Thats a problem for me.

See, the old bed is on site (on its backside and on a trailer.) and the old taillights are still in place. I need those pigtails. Getting to the screws to get them off, you need to open the tail gate. That is locked in with solenoids that have no power currently and ARE CAMBUS actuated by a computer, not the localized switch, that is also CAMBUS.

And get this. If one sensor fails, it may not allow the truck to engage reverse. If a light fails, or a series of lights fail, it may not let the truck engage Drive, or even START

Thats some heady shit to deal with. And the real downside, my Scantool doesn’t work well with RAM or Chrysler, or FIAT for that matter. I have to pay into a firewall setup to access the computers on any of those vehicles, and its a yearly subscription. And if I can’t turn some of these sensors off, I have to incorporate them into the swap, EVEN IF, they are just strapped up underneath out of the way.  ☆

What ever happened to the five wire tail light harness? This thing is a mess of computer connections with only a small handful of actual power wire. The harness (minus pigtails to the lights themselves) fills a five gallon bucket, and thats just for the rear bumper and tailgate!

I ain’t EVER gonna own anything newer than 2008, period, end of discussion. I’ll make some frankenMunster creation before I ever own something of this level of stoopid. Yeah, there are some cool features, that are completely un-neccesary. Like the towing mirrors. The computer senses the trailer (if those sensors are in place and wired in), and auto adjusts the width of the mirrors for towing. COOL, but stoopid too. And I am not sure about this particular model, but I know a buddy from the Vault wanted to install an aftermarket stereo in his 2020 model something or nuther, and found that there is no space in the dash for one. The touchscreen that handles the music stuff (and maps and navigation, and phone calls, and, and, and, ) was just that, a touchscreen in the dash, and just an interface for the computer located somewhere else within the chassis. That computer was one of 17 in the truck, and they all talk to each other over CANBUS, and one somewhere in the truck has command authority over all of them. It can shut down the truck and you end up with a 6000# paperweight, that needs towed somewhere with another computer that can talk to the onboard computer and work out hostage negotiations: you being the hostage in this case, and the one about to get bent over for mad money.

No thanks.

Even Bloo has a computer, but its considerably more dumb than the mess of computers on that RAM. And it can’t shut me down because of a blown tail light.   Heck, as was shown by Bloo’s last engine, that computer won’t even shut down an engine eating itself alive.  Just pop codes (maybe) that there are problems.   I’m good with that.  Keeps me on my toes to keep her runnin’.

I won’t go into all the he-said, she-saids of where the AutoMakers have gone off the rails.   But that they have, and that it all started right around 2008 (and the Cash for CLunkers horseshit) is beyond doubt.   2008 was the last year I turned wrench in a shop (during the fall of reality around my ears.) and I hadn’t seen any of this stuff coming at us.   I did see pre-warnings of it in Amy’s 2005 MiniCooper S.   Open the hood to see that cool little 1.5L supercharged beauty,,,,   “um,,, wheres the engine?  wheres the supercharger?   Where the fuck is the FRELLIN’ DIPSTICK?,,,”   MiniCooper, built by BMW, and fully captured away from the home DIY’er/shadetree doods.   Had I even tried to change the brake pads, I would have voided the warranty on the whole car.

and the industry took cues,,,

I don’t get it.   I see the prices on trucks, and know how little anyone but the dealer or well supported local shop can handle (like that scantool of mine.  The subscription services on some of these tools are in the 1000’s every year: just like the cars and trucks, you may pay for them, but you DO NOT OWN THEM, you are paying for a subscription service to keep them running, and when the Industry decides to cut that support off, you have a hunk of scrap metal, plastic (mostly plastic) and Giant tote of CANBUS wiring.

Klaus Schwab stated not so long ago “you will own nothing, and be happy”, and Between property taxes (you don’t own it if you have to pay the king rent) and our cars that are almost as expensive as a cheap house, that MUST be supported by those that buy into the system,,,  I don’t think we are all that far away from Herr Schwabs prediction.  I know a lot of people that are tickled with all those bells and whistles and gee-gaws and whatfors, (until the repair bill happens,,,)

I can’t swallow that particular pill, thank you verymuch.

Fact: the motorcycle industry is taking notes too.   A warning for those of us Riders that still like the ironhorses.  (And I do miss my two wheeled friends.)

I’m gonna throw out a prediction here, and yah, its more of a ‘wish’ than an actual prediction; I can see serious backlash building up over all of this techy shit.   I see younger people starting to find the older cars far more appealing, not just for their simplicity, but for their IMAGE.  Even the youngers are starting to see that every damned SUV on the road looks alike if you take the badges off them.   People, especially for AMERICANS, our cars were not just a tool, but a statement, and when the statement is ‘copy/pasted’ at the drawing board, the message gets blurred.

Heck the only Odd-duck on the market is the CyberTruck from Tesla. (and I DO NOT like that design.   I get it, but I don’t like it.  FUGLY in my terms.) (well, and Jeep, but even there, the SUV models are starting to morph into the sludge of commonality.)

A truth I am coming  to terms with.   My ‘mobile auto repair’ thing is not a winner.   Not yet.   The people that are getting the cars they can work on, work on them.  They don’t farm it out so much.   I won’t let the BLoo go to pot over this: she has far more uses as a tool hauler/truck, but the whole mobile tech thing is riding on a thin edge.  I keep the signage on her, and I do get the occasional call, but I need to expand the options.   Not like I am not capable.

Adapt, improvise, and overcome.    Semper Gumby!  

☆ If I have to pay for that service on my scantool to get this truck running correctly, YES, I will be handing Son of Bossman a bill for it.   I can do the work on the bed and such for ‘rate’ and not complain, but if I have to start paying others for tool use, so does he!

More tomorrow.  

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