A Happy New Years to Y’all

Dropped the ball early last night, didn’t see much point as I was alone and not out partying with friends. Thats this weekend with the KayakyKampinKrew. Don’t take that name the wrong way, we are mixed lot, but a happygoluckygoing type lot.

New Years are times of reflection for a lot of people; me being no exception (like I EVER stop self-reflection LOL) There are reasons we have traditions of New years resolutions and the like.

Well, My reflections of late are the “CHaO$” sort. Lots going on behind the scenes here at the Shop. things I haven’t even mentioned in passing to y’all, and are giving me fits and starts and huge reason why I haven’t mentioned any of the fun and games in ‘The Real World’ the last couple of months. Honestly, couldn’t care less about that shit since my little world is sitting on edge, ready to roll over one way or the other, and not at all sure which direction its gonna take.

Yes, BlooTwuck has some to do with that, but only along the fringes of it. Some of the choices I have to make will effect that aspect, and part of why I have been holding back some in pushing certain moves.(establishing that LLC thing for one.)

Hard Choices, easy life. Easy Choices, hard life.

Ok, nuff beating around the dead horse here. This is whats goin’ on. Most of y’all know that I do not like my area of operations. I am here because of Da, as this is where he chose to ‘retire’ to. Age is getting the better of both of us though. Him more than me. His house is on a hillside and that hillside is getting to be far too much for him. (personally, I thought it was way too much 10 years ago, but he’s a stubborn cuss.) He’s putting his home up for sale. Now, details of that, and what his plans are, I’m not gonna post. Lets just say us Kids are not ‘In league’ with his thoughts, but I am the one that holds the ground of “If thats what he wants” : THOUGH, I am trying to sway him towards better planning,,, I don’t think his current thoughts are fully thought through, if you know what I mean.

But what does that have to do with me? Well, as said, I don’t like my current AO,, I would like to move my arse somewhere a little more ‘up to date’, less Scarcity mentality, and one where there is less of a drug culture, though I know thats likely wishful thinking these days.

Downsides: I will never get out of my house what I need to start over. Not at the current level of inflation. I don’t even know if I could get anything out of it being where it is. To whit, The cost of living is much higher everywhere else and my current status is borderline HERE: that means I would be in deficit on day one, elsewhere.

And the reason I hold off on filing the LLC paperwork,,,, IF I up’n sell/move, I would have to refile ALL of that paperwork with new information, and refiles cost the same as the first,,, So far this thing is already so far in the hole, I can barely reach the lip of said hole, and I am resisting digging that hole any deeper until I start seeing SOMETHING in return. (you know the saying, “if you find yourself in a hole, STOP DIGGING” Ya,,, that.)

Break it down for the simple minded Dio.

In as simple of terms as I can say: I am not standing on solid ground right now. More like shifting sands that could easily turn into quicksand traps, or just as readily go full solid with no give at all, pinning my feet in place.

New Years are times of Change, right? Well, this New Years is holding ALL the cards of change, and I feel like I am working a puzzle but can’t see all the peices. Or one is flipped over and doesn’t look like it will fit,,, That one peice I NEED to complete the puzzle.

Then toss in the lowered income status of seasonal work,,, Not helping at all, let me tell ya.(an NO, that is NOT a bleg,,, just a statement of fact.)

The good? BLoo. She opens doorways, even if I never file the paperwork of an LLC. I can still do things ‘under the table’ on my terms, and those can be done anywhere: she’s on wheels for cripes sake. She is helping keep things fluid enough for now, lubricating my transistion into this crazy future I call ‘my life’.

My current dilemma: do I further my efforts here at the Stead and make things permanent or sell out on the cheap (cuz it really ain’t worth much) and move. If it weren’t for Bad Cuz, next door, I would ‘Settle’ and turn this around for certain. He is some grit in my gears of thinking. (and if I could find some way of getting his ass gone,,,,)(Leave that thought right there: no need to elaborate on nefarious thinks.)

Lots of gears in motion, not all are meshed correctly, just like in a gearbox where the gears are all moving, even if not engaged. At least things aren’t trying to engage 1st and 5th at the same time;

Yet!

Knowing my ‘life’, I’ll make some plans, start engaging those gears, and find that ‘road speed’ doesn’t relate and have to shift up again. I don’t like freewheeling my way through life, but that is how things feel right now,,, just letting things spin while momentum carries me forward. Or in nautical terms: The currents are pulling me, and the rudder is fouled.

No, not asking for advice, help or financial support here. Just venting in general, and maybe someone will flip over that puzzle peice for me, with a word or two. Ain’t none of us self-supported islands, much as I strive for that point.

Any-howitzers,,, Just wanted to fill y’all in that things are not all as they seem on the face of the shop, and there is more than one life in the mix here that keeps this shop ‘interestin’.

L,L,L,L,L!

(, ‘)