inside out

Just a little sumpin to make up for yesterdays lack.   Went through the whole rigamarole of yesterday, pulling a role I don’t usually partake in: babysitter,,,,   Cripes are some peeps DUMB.   I dunno how many times I had to correct them, over simple shit that they should know after having been on the job for 2+ years,,,,    and its not just a reflection on their intelligence, but a reflection on the training they picked up by the former Team leaders in charge of them.    NOTE, I said FORMER, hence why I was playing babysitter.

made for a long day,,,,

and the switch to the welder remained in the off, all day long,,,   zero productivity on my end.

Bills got paid, can say I had enough breaks in the action to get my online banking things out of the way;  Not much else though.

we are still in freefall towards the Great Endarkenment, TPTwB are still of the mind that “if they can’t own the tree, no one gets the fruit.” and some of them seem to think that burning the tree to the roots by nuclear fire is a fine and dandy prospect,,,

Times like this are the only times I agree with the concept of ‘retro-active abortion’; these morons should have been eradicated a long time back, yet somehow, rose to the top.   (or were groomed for such, by nefarious actors behind the scenes.   I’m going with that one because these asshats have ZERO redeeming qualities to the whole of the human race.)

I know i’ve said it a time or two here (like once a week Dio, come on

, we hear it enough) I live in the WRONG location for my hobbies.   Not close enough to big water for my kayaking drives, no real knowledge resources for my learning drives (Thank DAWG for the internets!!!!), and,,,,, 

ya, I know, I did it to myself by moving here to begin with, so STFU already, right?

Stop whining, just fix the friggin issue.   

Yeah, that,,,, Damn this is a shitty time to be considering HOW to make a move,,,   I could probably find a buyer (other than fam) and make a tidy profit on my place, BUT, with the wrack and ruin of the economy right now, ‘replacement costs’ would far exceed my take.    

And with the “Just Nuke’em” attitude that seems to be gaining popularity among the short bus leaders we inherited, property values may just become a buyers market in the near future: if you don’t mind the odd glow or hot spot,,,   

Thats the BIG problem right now, isn’t it?  That no one wants to make any plans past tomorrow because we aren’t even sure we GET tomorrow,,,,  Long term, whussdat?   Just made mention to Son of Bossman yesterday as we were discussing ‘personal windfalls’, that people are stopping investing in the long term in the usual ways and are now grabbing up whatever tangibles they can as they get the means.   Like buying for cash anything that may retain some value later; Be it toys (boats cars, etc) or just the Double G (guns and groceries)(and LOTS of that going on around here, ‘specially the ‘guns’ thing,,,)

That, that right there: the discord that is being created by the destruction of the very things that make planning anything possible.   If there is nothing to plan for, we die, internally, spiritually, and not long after, literally.

AND ITS INTENTIONAL.

And I can’t get my head around how some people hate themselves and their own species so much that they would WANT THIS.

So I retreat into my ‘safe spaces’ of kayaking and reading and do NOTHING, and the turmoil doesn’t stop, it just stops boiling so much.

I’m slotted to go on a river-run with an old work-bud and his new GF this Sunday,  Now its looking like we may need to bump it up a day, but I am having some trepidation about the whole thing.  Mostly since I am providing the boat for him to use.   

and because I won’t take Lizzy on the river, and I NEED seat time in Lizzy over my other boats right now.   It’s kind of a balancing thing, my needs vs helping others acquire the addiction.   And I know even if He were to really like moving water, he won’t invest in it, he will keep borrowing others stuff (until they tell him to shove off,,,). . Another part of my angst here is his failing to pay attention to what I say.   He thinks that he is ‘better than that’ or something and refuses to use a sprayskirt or PFD.   I can’t get it through to him that the skirt is to keep the water OUT of the boat so it remains afloat, even if,,,,    And that the PFD isn’t a ‘life jacket’ but a way to make sure that we can find his corpse when his luck runs out.   I have explained to others that the PFD is ‘insurance’  even if they are olympic swimmers: when shit goes sideways, there are A LOT of things going wrong and if you are insured that you will rise to the surface, you have one less thing to worry about, so can devote more mind energy to correcting the situation.   This guy won’t hear a lick of it and that starts me to wondering if I should even try,,,or even associate with a potential problem.(And dude from work that wants to learn kayaking, has pretty much dried up,,,   didn’t even mention it to me this week, not once, didn’t ask ‘when’,,,, nuthin’ at all.   Dunno, but I get the impression he is ‘trendy’ and that trend went the way side because he saw something else that grabbed his attention this week.)

It’s not the lack, (yes it is, but,,,) its the area, and the mindsets (or lack of mind) of the people in this area.   I live in the wrong area,,,,

Anyone else notice that I am going in circles here?    Its looking for a solution but not seeing one because I am refusing to accept that what needs changed is ME,,, or in this case, my ‘where I reside’,,,    I want to move, but I can’t see HOW with the way the world is, AND I am still locked in with a promise I made to myself in August of 2021,,,,

I’m inside out right now, and ain’t likin’ it.

And while my situaton is unique to me, I know the feelings are NOT,   People are feeling the pinch in ways they are not used to.  and there doesn’t seem to be an exit from the turmoil coming anytime soon.   

and maybe that is a good thing.   IF enough of us get to the point of having had enough, then maybe we will take back the reins and bust some chops and get the wagon back on the trail.    Until then, we suffer, and thats just the simple facts.   

edited for clarity