My thoughts usually turn inward and self-depreciating. todays thoughts revolved around “I’ve too much stuff“
Some of this is in response to Da’s downsizing. Exactly where I was 18 years ago this August. How to make that move and retain dignity, but unload the excess.
The problem I run into is just how useful all of that “Stuff” is to me. Granted, books, sit on shelf most days, rarely looked at,,, but when needed, oh most definitely appreciated in thier longevity. (unlike wayward hard-drives that shit out after 6 years)
And the tools. NEVER GONNA SELL TOOLS AGAIN. (with the exception of ‘upgrades’)
and admittedly, a lot of my thoughts are biased by my original Wanderlust days. Being able to up and go was a staple. I’m long past those days of ‘get up and go’, but there are times where I wouldn’t mind taking a year off ‘life’ and go do some living/wandering.
Me thinks one of those times is lurking in the shadows, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
That could be a bit on the awkward side with all my “stuff” sitting here unattended (in pandoras virtual pawnshop waitng to happen. I reference Bilbo’s return at the end of ‘The Hobbit” where his kin had had him declared legally dead and were divvying up his ‘stuff’.)
If you can’t stand over it and defend it with your life, you dont’ own it.
And theres a LOT of stuff I can’t defend like that currently, if I am not on site. One man, only so much a guy can carry. Heck, Look at Bloo, a one-ton truck, loaded to the gills with tools, and all of it buried under lock and keys for those times where I can’t stand over it.
I feel spread a little thin and thats driving the “too much stuff’ thinks. Working through Wings again; with T and G’s mobile airwing/support trailer. There were thoughts in my personal world that helped generate that particular aspect of the story. (and if any would be writer tells you they don’t put any of themselves into the story, I tell you: they are lying. To you to your face, or to themselves, but lying nonetheless.)
I was doing a quick dive in some of my old writings over at the Blogger site; my first blog. Funny how WordPress is just now saying I hit 50K in words, but my posts tended to be four times more wordy, then, compared to now. Writing now I usually generated around a ‘5 minute read’ or less, and those were typically 20-30 minute reads Some even more. (especially in the Oblammy days,,, lord I had a lot of vitriol to unpack then,)
I’m not writing less. I’m killing keyboards at a faster pace now. That could be due to the product not being as robust (entirely possible) or that I am just pounding out more words, even if they aren’t all for immediate public consumption. Example being Wings and Outside looking in: both books original draft were a third to half as many words larger, than made it to final cut. And there were entire sections of wings that are sitting in limbo on that hard-drive that didn’t even make it to final draft. I stopped deleteing things because there was a chance it could be hammered to fit into something later. (one full chapter I recall, is already slotted for the sequel, IF I can get that drive opened up.) They were good, but not quire a clean fit to the end product.
Tonight is break night from wing sequel. I’m at a point where I need a hardcopy in my hands: not that what I have can’t work, but I want to see how its laid out in print. The files I took from KDP are PDF and don’t translate back into Scrivener format well. I lost some metadata on chapters and such and thats making the revision a little more technical. Thats why I am saying I won’t relaunch until mid August. I could upload everything now, but it would be make the printed form look really rough.
So y’all get to read my rambling nonsense about nothing and everything and a little in the middle of the vacuum of space. And there are things behind the scenes that aren’t open to the public doing a little tapdance on my spirit. Those aren’t helpin’ my outlook none. Things trying to trigger that fight or flight mode, but neither option is viable. Just shit that needs worked through, not ran from or beat into submission. (though there are times where taking a 2×4 to some of these issues would be so, so, satisfying,,,,)
It’s the wrap-up of Humpday. 2 more days of J.O.B. and then I can ‘let my hair down’ (LOL!,,,I’m sporting a Gunny Highway ‘High and Tight’ rignt now.) and maybe, if things pan out and parts arrive early, get to making some real cash.
Or do a short day trip to Hartford TN for a day with friends on the Pigeon,,, Maybe,,, Will see. Sadly, Its kinda looking like a washout with everyone this year.
Love y’all Stay curious
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