satyrday mirror gazing

Some days, I just want the words to ‘turn off’. To experiance some blessed silence for a spell. Not the words of the world, those I can shut off fairly easily: I’m talkin’ the words in me head,,,

Long confession: I like psychedelics. LSD pharmacutical grade way back in the days (when I had access to univerisity chemlabs. no, didn’t make it, but knew a guy,,,) Shrooms on occasion, Seriously considering DMT of late¤. The alternative to Psychs is alcohol: readily available, but dangerous in the quantities needed to shut off the words. And not entirely effective either. At low levels, it only undoes the filters and I get chatty as FUCK! Brudda B and J can tell you how I ran an hours long Anti-Religion monologue at camp one time,,, Apologies brothers,,, I think I needed another triple shot to shut my ass up.

I don’t know what others experiance, but I hear the words die off, and the symbols those words replaced come to the foreground. Symbols that can be understood at levels words mask. I don’t ‘get high’: I attain a clarity I fail to reach in other ways. I have reached it during meditation on occasion, but the psychs get me there everytime. (and of course, some are better at it than others, and each ‘colors’ the effect in different ways. Shrooms make me more intune with emotional states, LSD takes me somewhere more spiritual. I hear DMT is even more ‘real’ )

And words,,, What a damned virus that separates the humans into tribes. Word ‘a’ in language “A” might have zero translation in Language “B” , and this is not uncommon at all. Cultures don’t operate in identical ways and some words that work ‘here’ don’t work anywhere else, and no amount of defining can make them work, or muddies the whole concept into meaninglessness. (*and the whole ‘lost in translation’ thing is why I side-eye formalized religions)

Words. spoken tongues. We created symbols to record the words in our heads so that the word virus could be sent to our progeny in the future. A good thing and a bad thing as can be seen in how we climbed out of ‘banging rocks together at the cave mouth’ to current day civilization.

But we never left the animal in us behind. in fact, that part of our brain still runs quite a bit of our daily lives. And that part our brain is what TPTwB know how to manipulate to their advantage The fear factor, cluttered with words designed to keep that fear cranked to 11. Shut the internal dialogue down and the animal mind can sort out the chafe and see ‘No danger’, and one can calm down. THEY don’t want us calmed down, they need us on the edge of our seats so they can maintain control. We stop freaking out, running for the latest greatest escape purchase, and we start to see through the bullshit. The bullshit that makes this world a frellin mess that benefits a (self)chosen few.

There is a reason I live alone on a hill in the middle of the armpit of KY. SILENCE. put the phone aside for awhile. and I can tone down the words some. SOME. I need help shutting them off. But I can alleviate the noise just by setting the phone down (usually leaving it plugged in, in the truck.) and getting away from it. There may come a day where I say to hell with it, Retire from the world at large and leave the phone on the shelf, unplugged and let it die, let the subscription plan expire, and UNPLUG ME from the matrix.

OMG, let me tell you, that sounds like HEAVEN to me right now. I can’t do that currently. I must be ‘reachable’ in this modern world.

And that right there is part of the problem, ain’t it? We are ALWAYS reachable now. Not like when we were growing up, and the phones were chained to the walls, not chained to us by ‘essential tool’ status. Where we could go DAYS without using a phone, but could tell you, without need of a rolodex or notebook, any phone number of someone we knew, or that of the local pizza joint that still delivered at 1am.

When AT&T started selling Cellphone plans back in the 90’s, I jumped on board fast. And it was a game changer. But that game changer evolved into a monster over the last 20 years. Even in the early aughts, when they were still ‘just phones’, not internet connected ‘lifelines’, we didn’t have the fourth monkey.

(and I’m pointing three fingers back at myself as I am looking into a phone while I type this out on a bluetooth keyboard.)

That fourth monkey, may not see hear or speak to anyone, but the dialogue in his head is not all his. THOSE are the words I want shut off. Not just the words that aren’t mine, but all of them so I can figure out which belong and which need purged.

more laters,,, its a long weekend after a weak week, and I will have plenty of time for wild thoughts to percolate to the surface.

Love y’all

LLLLL!

(, ‘)

¤ let clarify: psychedelics are a rarity for me. Decades apart in usage. Definitely NOT an addiction issue.