I ain’t mainstream
Did ya figure that out? And no small part of that is reason why I can’t generate income here. I get that,,,
In order to generate income, you gotta fit, in some way
I fit societies holes like a boulder trying to get through a 2′ culvert in a rainstorm. And I don’t care, I am who I am, think how I prefer and learn whatever I wanna, when I wanna, and fit my own skin quite nicely, thankyouverymuch,,,,
T’ain’t rich, not by societies standards, likely never will be, short of a windfall in the lottery (Saul, you have to buy a ticket. LOL) and I’m content with that. I know my value to the world isn’t a monetary thing. Much like the monks of Tibet, “I get by”.
I run into issues though: one of which I hit at the Get-together over the weekend. I was talking with LilBrudda C, and we were discussing many of the things located up in my “question, seek, reflect, respect” page. Now that wasn’t where I ran into issue. The issue arose when C said, “You’re a mental Giant, you know that?”
NO, I don’t know that!!! Fact is, I get VERY uncomfortable when someone I am close to, says shit like that. Fact of the matter, I personally feel ‘average’ and that is large part of why I get frustrated in life; I see solutions that, TO ME, are so damned obvious, and can’t understand why others can’t see those solutions as well. Maybe I am positioned a little bit higher in the mental levels, but I don’t FEEL like that. I see my world as I have built it, which is levels LOWER than societal standards (I mean, for cripes sake, I live in what amounts to a shack. May be its a more modern form of shack, with better insulation and some amenities to add comfort, but its primitive in relation to my dads house,,, )
On top of that, I don’t fit the mold of ‘Success’. I ain’t successful by societal standards. I dont’ make a killing in the financial department. Fact is, by societal standards, I live below poverty levels.
But I am not on the dole, I get NOTHING from the government that my taxes don’t balance out in some way, and I pay plenty in taxes.
My standard for success is measured differently: how I handle issues, difficulties, is more inline with how I measure success. Do I need to farm out solutions, or do I handle them me-self? There are times where yes, I do farm things out because the wear and tear on ME is higher than the cost of that farming out. Like when I needed a clutch in the white truck I owned before Buffalo. I took one look under that truck and knew what my means would fit and figured “nope, Not this time”,,,
I don’t like being told I am an exception. I don’t like standing out (Which around here, happens far more than I like.) I never had the spirit for “show”, which is why I fit so well into monitor world in the entertainment feild….
Do I study my ass off? Absolutely, yes. And ‘what’ is irrelevant,,, I know what I don’t know (in some ways), and what I do know is such a small percentage of what there is TO know,,,, Even more important is that I know there are things I don’t know and I have no idea what those things are. (read it again, it will make sense.) I keep trying to fill in the blanks and hope that at some point, there will be connections made that fill in those gaps I know I have.
My biggest fear is losing my mind. The very idea of dementia scares the ever loving fuck out of me. I watched Bidens decline and the horror I felt,,,, It really made me despise his family that kept him propped up like that for their benefit. Me, Personally, (and I know Da feels the same) if I start steering to that point, I am gonna eat a bullet or find some Hemlock and take Socrates way out (by choice, not decree, of course.) I would feel no guilt for that method as I, at that point, would feel that my time on this planet had reached its zenith and IS would be expecting me to return to the fold. I do feel, since I believe the soul is immortal, that the body will eventually fail, even if the soul is in full bloom. IS wouldn’t see ‘suicide’ as a sin in that case. The only SIN I believe, is believing that you ‘imagine’ better than IS/ALL/Peloma/GOD, whatever your favorite “higher power” is.
This life is a gift, we have only this time here to learn whatever it is we were sent to learn. Apparently, I was sent to learn everything, as that is what drives me. While that may be the case, I also know that there is NO WAY that can be accomplished; ergo, I am not a mental giant. I’m just one more soul trying to make a better version of myself and HOPE that when the judgement time arrives, I will have fulfilled some/most of the tasks assigned me in this ‘go-round’. I know I will be back and have to do it all again, or some variation of ‘it all’ until I get it right. That doesn’t bother me as much as you might think: what bothers me is that I know on the next go-round, what I have learned this time, will be at best, a fleeting memory bordering on imagination, or instinctual feeling: NOT ACTUAL THOUGHT.
But thats the nature of the Peloma,,, Its a swinging pendulum, a balance of energies, thoughts that never cease,,, My only desire is that I get to make some choices in my next ‘vehicle’,,, I would also like to ‘take a vakay’ from this reality for a spell and explore the universe as a being of energy before I return to this ‘hell’ for the next lesson. I hope that my efforts to understanding on this plane, will be reflected on the next plane.
Ok, enough of a rainy day, off work rant. here’s hoping you all have a wonderful day and try to stay dry and warm. Grab ya a cuppa and curl up with a book, expand the mind if you can’t expand the physical realm.
Live
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Dio's Workshop 
I’m glad you’re not mainstream Dio. If you were I wouldn’t have hung around these parts for long, but I’m happy to be here!
As for the mental giant thing, I hear ya. 99.9% of the time I feel like your run of the mill, average dude with an oversized curiosity about things and how the pieces fit together. Even if I’m (quite) a bit of a weirdo. But then I interact with co-workers or the public at large and it becomes quite obvious I ain’t “one of them.”
An old friend who is MUCH smarter than I in my opinion, with multiple degrees from “prestigious” universities, once told me this as I was lamenting my lack of smarts and a college education: “Knowledge is like a river. Some people’s river is narrow but deep. They know nearly everything about a couple things, but almost nothing about everything else. Some people have a very wide river, but it’s shallow – they know a little bit about a LOT of things. Some peole are more like a creek. Me, (speaking about himself) I have a very deep but ridiculously narrow river – I know a lot about mathematics, political science and baseball. And a fair amount about a few other things. You however (speaking about me) have a very wide river that has a few shallow parts but also some deep trenches. I would argue you’re just as “smart” as anyone, whether you went to college or not.”
I never felt like a dummy again after thst conversation. I still feel like I have SO much to learn and I don’t often feel “smart”, but I don’t feel stupid anymore for lack of “education”. I’ve somehow managed to get this far and I’ve got people asking me for answers all day, every day so there must be something other than rocks in the ol’brain basket.
And you Dio, I’m always learning something new, or getting a new perspective on things from your work. You may be “working poor” and live in “a shack”, but I have a lot of admiration for you and remain grateful for finding your little world here amongst all the debris that is the interwebs.
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October 29, 2025 at 11:50 am
Thank you Jay. I truly appreciate your words (here and on your site) . I’ll continue to strive and not fit the molds.
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October 29, 2025 at 11:54 am
Societal standard is a sh!$ Sammich with very little bread. It’s a perception, driven by fake perception. So much of the average folks “see” what they are told is “standard” and strive to obtain what they “see”.
Anyways. Keep being the ol crabby Intro, and I’ll keep being whatever it is i am, and we’ll keep enjoying and living the best we know how.
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October 29, 2025 at 1:26 pm
Like I’ve stated before. You and I have much in common.
yup old Joe was definitely showing this age. This we have no difference in opinion on. As we both see almost all politicals as grifters and self enabling narcissist’s.
what I don’t understand, is why you fail to point this out about R’s in general, especially the obviously deranged one currently in charge. Not that I’m singling you out mind you. As many others still are of the same opinion, even though I believe their opinion is rapidly changing.
fact is, I used to also follow some of those same blogs which you frequent, but found them to be lacking in honest self evaluation. The Oath keepers come to mind ( apparently they forgot their oaths and let partisanship override that oath)
just keep doing what ur doing and I’ll still be here.
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October 30, 2025 at 6:17 am
I’m quite certain you are familiar with the term ‘give them enough rope to hang themselves’ THAT is why I don’t mention the R’s so much. There are a few, Like Massie that I am watching closely, not in paranoia, but in “will he stick to his guns”,,, I’ve already written off RP: He ain’t his daddy, not even close.
AND, lately, you may have noticed that I am pulling back HARD,,, Not so much about the great wide world, usually a casual mention of things I have witnessed. FUGGEM!!! We need a different currency system in place, and then we can cut ties with all of this crap and start afresh,,, The real problem being, too many can’t see any other way, they have been mired in the muck for far too long and have no clue that there are other ways. OR, like NY, are attempting suicide by ballot because they have just given up. DUnno,,, Not my circus,,,
more laters,,,, maybe even some thoughts on this very thing.
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October 30, 2025 at 6:24 am
OH, and that currency I mentioned, should not be one that is determined by certain oligarchs as they are attempting to do even now as I type this. See Robert Gores peices over at StaightLine Logic,,, Scare the F! out of you for certain, and Yes, Trumped is right in the middle of that…
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October 30, 2025 at 6:30 am
There have been many times (usually at $WORKPLACE but sometimes elsewhere) where I have a “Duh!” moment and realize the simple solution to some (usually minor, but still irksome) issue. And I think, well, “Ox slow.”
And I think again. “And yet still faster than everyone else?”
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October 30, 2025 at 9:23 am