The back-up plan

if my life were an analogy of current events, yeah, thats how I am feeling right now. Let me explain a little bit.

First off, y’all know I am single. live alone, total bach lifestyle. Sort of a dead end job too, seeing how I have no benefits, no paid vaca, etc, Makes me decent money, but takes a lot of my time to do so.

And I am single, if I hadn’t mentioned that 😛

I AM the back up plan. If shit goes sideways, I am IT,,, I have Da, some friends, but in reality, when it comes down to the grubby hands/bloody knuckles of it all, I am the back-up plan. (Like when Buff did her lame duck routine in ‘Bama,,,, It was on me,,,, Some provided some financial assistance, some moral assistance, but there on the side of the road, just me, working the problem of ‘what resources do I have, and how do I get my ass out of this mess, this time???’)

That situation makes me cautious in many ways: not a bad thing mind you, being cautious, that is,,, But there are times where I feel like I need extra caution to make sure that I maintain my current ‘lifestyle’, and that caution means I am merely existing, not LIVING.

What’s got me frazzled right now is Buffalo, wood, and desires. Buff needs work done, and I am doing what I can after hours, but with her being my backup plan, similar to self, I have to coordinate very carefully when and how I make the big repairs. Engine swaps aren’t an evening deal, even under the best of conditions, and those I have not. Wood shed stocking. Sort of a ‘shoot yourself in the foot’ situation here. My wood shed is right next to where I will be doing the engine swap: I don’t want piles of wood waiting to be split in that area until I am well and done with the swap.

and of course. my desires,,, you know them, and that they all have one name attached to them in some fashion: Kayaking. I have a race scheduled Aug 26th,,, that one I can’t back out of, but the others are true desires, and can be worked around or through. But that also means that I may have to forgo time with friends. I want to be there, probably need the break as well, but this shit isn’t going away, and the clock to get it done is starting to beat a steady rythm with the winter months coming on. The last thing I want to be doing is putting up wood when the snows are already blowing, or trying to swap an engine in the cold, out of doors.

and then you toss in family obligations,,,, shit gets a little heavy then.

No Problems, only unseen solutions!

Well, that first ‘fix’ is Buffalo. If she is down, all sorts of F’ed up! starts taking place. I have my back-up plan for heat this winter, so even if my wood stores are down, the kids n I aren’t gonna freeze. Gotz ta fix the Buff,,,, And if need be, borrow Da’s fourwheeler to get to and from the J.O.B. while things are apart, J.O.B. is just gonna have to deal with a handicapped MacGuyver not having his miracle working tools readily available for a short spell.

Once the Buffalo is back on wheels and roaring, Wood…. Plenty of trees down with the winds we have been having, but getting them. not as easy. And the ticks are flat attrocious this year. sigh,,,, Hatez the ticks, and thats another reason I keep putting that shit off. I know, self inflicted wound, stop your flippin whining Dio.

As for the wood, I have seriously considered farming that one out: paying someone $50 a rick once a week. The problem there is finding “Reliable”,,,, And I want hardwoods, not poplar or pine or cedars. And I have seen guys that load up whatever they can scrounge off the strip jobs and call it good, charge a guy full price for crap. Until I can find that ‘reliable’, I am the back up plan,,,,

And thats the analogy to the real world, WE are the back up plan for when our leadershits power dreams implode,,, They don’t see it because they can’t see that their ideas are shot full of myth and mush. And thats why they get upset when we won’t fall in line with their glorious ‘visions’. We know we are the back up plan and that we are trying to live our lives, our desires, and those all have to take the backseat to our ‘responsibilities’,,, Like me needing that truck to be reliable, and making concesions to get her there,,, Or delaying a neccesary chore because the location of it would interfere with the first issue. And then you toss in the other obligations that we can’t back out of, and things get ‘tense’.

I’ll get this shit straight yet, I always do: May have to make some choices I would prefer not to, but that’s called LIFE and there ain’t a damned thing “Fair” about it. (thanks for letting me vent. And those after-hours actions are why this is a late post.)