Talking balance

One thing I work at daily is “Joe Average”,,,

As In; in my mind, I am just Joe Average. Then I come to work, and I get to deal with the left side of the bell curve,, some days its the FAR left side of that curve,,,

*sigh*

See, when I was in The Corps, I was a stringy little shit, fought n fought to put mass on, was even put on double rats and a workout program to put weight on while floating to Kuwait (and I LOST weight while gaining stoopid lifting ability; can still squat triple my weight)

That mental image still lingers in my mind. As well as the mental image of being low average intelligence that was hammered on me while in PUBLIC INDOCTRINATION. (Had some good teachers that didn’t play that game, but there were more than a few that did, and maybe they felt they were doing me a service by playing the devils advocate to drive me harder,,, dunno doesn’t matter anymore, damage done.)

I KNOW I am not, but the doubts linger at times, even while I am the Goto guy for out of the box solutions when everyone else is scratching bald spots into their scalps,,,

And my size now,,, lol. Started putting on weight about 2 years after leaving the marines, and now, I see pics of me while kayaking or loading a boat and ask ‘who’s dat?’ until I realize its me. My mental image doesnt fit reality, and when I see pics like that, I’m floored.

Look at that shoulder n tell me I’m skinny n weak, i double dog dare ya!!! (But my mind tells me that everyday,,,)

Self confidence,,, sometimes comes off as arrogance, but I fight the self-esteem far more than most people would ever guess, IF they aren’t in my inner circle. B and T see it, I’m certain.

Part of my balancing act. That bellcurve peak is not where I sit, more about 1/3rd to the right side of it, know it, but still “feel” TO ME. Qdead center on it, : despite the examples showing otherwise on a day to day. I have a daily mantra I say to counter that force inside, pushing for that balance. “I’ve done things others only dream about, just trying to learn, and I ain’t done yet!”

Balance. Ground and center.

Note: being an INTJ, well, we kinda live within our own heads 99% of the time: maybe that explains some of the above,,,,

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WINGS OF CHANGE

What happens when a wounded veteran, a computer genius, and a handful of fiercely independent misfits decide that the best way to change the world is to stop waiting for someone else to do it?

G has spent years flying from a wheelchair, learning to make the sky obey him even when his body won’t. T is a computer wizard with a mysterious past, an enormous extended family, and a talent for turning impossible ideas into working machines.

Together, they build things that shouldn’t exist.

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But building extraordinary machines attracts attention.

Soon G, T, and their growing family find themselves caught between government agencies, competing agendas, and people who would very much like to know exactly what they’re capable of. What began as tinkering and experimentation is becoming something far more consequential.

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