I can talk now,,,,
Was feeling a tad frustrated chasin’ “Truck”: was only able to pull together $800 and that would have left me in deficit, unable to do much more than pick up the truck and watch it rot in my presence for a several months as my finances recovered.
STILL, this is gonna put a little bit of tension on the finances, but not as deeply or as suddenly. Spread the damage out and have a little room to wiggle for stuff like tires and brakes.
What did Dio do?
I talked to Son of Bossman,,,,
I owe him now,,, and that’s completely fine. He knows that I bring my tools to the table, and that is (large) part of why I am an asset at the J.O.B.; not just my brainium,,, I’ll be pickin’ “Truck” up this Friday, towing it home using a car dolly (another of those fringe benefits I will oblige myself to). Talked to the owner this afternoon, and he is cool with a Saturday pickup if’n Friday is too mucked up. Dunno which it will be, don’t care: the deal is working towards completion and that makes me quite happy.(update: MUST be Friday,,, forgot about an planned event that can’t be missed,,,)
Fact: I tossed and turned on this all day today, ready to let the window slide closed on me,,,, THEN, I kept thinking about something I say to the boys now and again; “Hard choices, easy life. Easy Choices, hard life.” The hard choice in this case was approaching the Son of, ‘hat in hand’ and ASKING. And he had been waiting for exactly that,,,, He wasn’t gonna offer, but wanted me to make the choice of my own free-will. Yeah, there is some humbling aspects goin’ on here, but that might be needed on my end. (IS needed on my end, it makes me appreciate the deal that much more.) I SEE a future for me in that truck, and one that is NOT at the J.O.B. per-se. One where I have more say, and don’t need to watch my efforts be rewarded by a small percentage of the margin. Had I let this slide closed on me, without asking, I would always be haunted by the fact that I LET it close without trying: thats a hard road to travel and one I have no intention of taking. The hard choices made, Time to get bizzy and make the future easier. (FYI, Son of Bossman and I are only 9 months apart in age: him senior to me, but he has been much more successful in the financial world, being a business owner and what not. I have just done more and seen more of the world,,, so it balances.)
‘Bout damned time I take charge of my future instead of relying on someone else to provide the opportunity of ‘income’. Granted, there is a lot of headache involved on their end, the headaches I will have to take on myself if I wish self-employment,,, I know those headaches from my producer days, my Tour manager days, etc etc,,,, Won’t be new territory,,,,
And the future looks a little brighter for your faithful blogger/podcaster,,, Won’t slow me down a bit on the blogging/casting stuff,,, Though my days will be busier for a spell, I still take the time to let y’all into the workshop for ‘chill time’.
LIVE
Learn
LAUGH
LOVE
LOAD
The Sonday post,,,
I want to clarify a little something to y’all. Please don’t take my asking for money as a desperation thing. If I didn’t have the room to manuever, I wouldn’t have made the purchases I have recently, Yes, some of those are on credcards, but that was a logical move on my part: pay slow, spread the damage out.
I am asking for tips and donations, not out of desperation, but one of,,,
Stop hovering,,,
Thats been my issue of late. Been hovering over issues so far out of my control, that they start controlling me.
I think its fairly safe to say, that no matter whats approaching through the fall out of 2020’s shenanigans, they will be nearly glacial in speed reaching everyday people. Or as Hemingway put it “Slowly, then all at once” (refering to going bankrupt, but financial bankruptcy is a good analogy to societal bankruptcy) Watch a utoob vid of a glacier calving, and you see what I mean.
I spent 24 hours with friends New Years day into the second. Spent hours monkeying with kayaks, talking kayaks, white water skills, describing long boating and explaining the differences to one who has never paddled a long boat. 24 hours of ZERO World Crisis. One short point where I was asked about Christmas Booms and my opinion. But that was it. The rest was good food, good people, good (but not in excess 😉) drink, and KAYAKY STUFF!!!
I needed the break. Oh did I need that break.
Sadly, the river run we had scheduled canceled with an illness. One of the key people felt ill and backed out. And that started an avalanche of same. B and I (more me than B) decided to hold off for lack of support. Kayaking is inherently risky from word ‘go’ (kinda like flying,,, take offs are optional, landings are mandatory. ) and I know I am the weak link that will likely need someone to save my ass in fast moving water. I didn’t want to burden a single person to that reponsibility, among other reasons. 🥶 A larger group is one mitigant to that risk.
Rolling classes are opening back up soon: indoor pool, good instructors, and small class sizes. Let the PTwB play their games, none of us can stop the juggernaut they have created; I will do what I need to lessen my burden on others, doing one of the things I love. I still don’t ‘know’ that WW kayaking is my thing, but the skills needed to handle a wild river are very applicable to heavy seas, and I DO want to play in oceans, wide open lakes and such. Rivers can help me build my skills and they are a lot more plentiful here than open water.
A short vid of where we were supposed to ‘play’ Saturday.
Sunday funday
Had to take a break from all the hoopla.
Took Serena out on Saturday for her one year birthday float. She is one year old this week.
Then I took out both of the plastiYaks; Betty and Jefe. Water isn’t flowing well enough to realy get them playing, but I was able to stretch some techniques and push my comfort levels. Jefe is strange to me. Initial stability is great, secondary is great and its there you hit a wall. Trying to get that boat over on its side is a fight unless you throw your upper body at. Then she’ll slip right over. Hip flicks are different to: I can feel that hump between secondary and over . Almost like a cam action going on. All of the other boats are smooth so the difference is noticable. Some are so smooth (Duh!kee, Betty) that they will bring you up and BACK over the other side if you get too energetic.
Honestly, I need to spend an hour or two in a kayak everyday, or minimal every other day. When I sat in Serena, I was twitchy and nervous¤. After playing for an hour, I settled down and was able to start pushing it a bit. Edging, stern draws, slicing into and out of eddy lines. Even went through some rougher water. Did some fast water ferrying, even went up stream and only had to portage once.
Then taking the plastiyaks out, not one issue. No twitchyness, no anxiety, other than the ‘dont really want to get wet’, but I was able to get in Jefe and just head out. No hanging in the shallows ‘adjusting’. Played for an hour or so, then went and grabbed Betty off the truck and same thing (recall, she is just as tippy as Duh!kee is and Duhk has tried to kill me: LOL.) No issues! I was even playing with getting her to dive while headed upstream in the narrows. She didn’t dive, but she did get her decks washed off. I think the water needs to be faster to get a dive,
But, I feel MUCH better than I did. My shoulder isn’t achy, my lower back is feeling supple again, and my anger is blunted for the time being. (And I am shopping for a 7mm wet suit; that water is COLD. I may just breakdown and go full drysuit, but I’m still choking on their price tags.)
Oh, and if anyone took offense at my last post. NOT SORRY. I’m sick n tired of tippy-toeing around peoples feelings, this year has whittled my tolerances to the nubs. If you were offended, ya might want to reflect on why. Use a mirror, it might help.
¤Water temps are sitting mid 40s right now. Will chill a body quick. I DO dress for the water but still have no desire to be in it. The gear is my insurance “just in case”.
Fall? winter? Urk!!!
Its 33°f outside right now. Fire in its place and the house is comfortably warm as a snoring dog and buzzy cat will attest.
And the beginnings of cabin fever are already kicking in.
Must be a symptom of an already f@ck€d up year. Its not even December and I’m itchin’ to do “sumpthin!”
Projects aside, and I could be working on any one of them, my body is wanting things more physical and demanding. I have a book to complete(yes Bruce, Its in process), i have another kayak to build (still need to get the log to the mill, but there are other aspects I could have fun with),,,
But. But. But.
Yeah, I HATE cold weather, shortened days, and having an accelerated metabolism. I mean, I’m 52, 6’2″ and still under 200#. My body despises ‘sitting still’ (and why I dont hunt or fish very often, unless I can stalk my quarrie.).
But Dio, you’re sittin’ still when you’re kayaking!
No, actually I am not. I may be in a seated position, but kayaking uses muscle groups from your head all the way down to your feet. Do a short run in WW and you’ll feel it tomorrow in places you’ve forgotten about. The first time I paddled 15 miles, I was sore for a week and not just in my shoulders and arms, but in my abs, hips and thighs: almost like I had been running.
Since I started kayaking, my waist line has been steadily shrinking and the love handles are melting off. My endurance is better and my back doesn’t ache like it used to.
And I still haven’t rolled successfully 🤬. Working on that, maybe I need water time with some chill to encourage getting upright, ,🥶 . I posted a short vid of my dryland practice and that is getting perfect, but its not IN water so,,, but my muscle memory is building, and I find myself getting upright with little to no effort now. I even noted in a hipflick practice that I came upright without realizing it when someone had asked me a question. (Small distraction syndrome/zen moment.) My biggest issue is just what I told another kayaker when we were out for the moonlight float: “my issue is in my head.” I need to follow Bruce’s advice and just go inverted and chat with the fish a few times, some wet exits, and just get used to being upside down. I know I can get out of all of my boats with ease, some better than others (Duh!k likes to trip me and snag shoes. And why I paddle her barefoot) so the exit is not my hang-up; my hangup is in being upside down underwater. Yeah, I gotta work on that.
But it’s stinking cold out, and I’m making oodles of excuses in my head, and creating a mixed bag of angst in my psyche. Fact is, NOW is the time when one really wants the rolling skill down pat; ‘Bombproof’ as the white water types like to call it.
Excuses are like A$$h♤les, every body has one and knows another.
Be the Bear!!! Maybe thats what I need. Kit up with cold water gear and just dive in, swim around a bit, THEN get in the kayak and do what I need. Only (legit) excuse I have there is ‘No partner’. Kinda don’t wanna risk things without a backup on hand. (I don’t enjoy soloing like I did. Funny being an introvert and lone wolf type wanting to ‘herd up’ 😝)
Words of advice
As another once told me: Everything you want or desire is on the othereside of HARD.
The more effort you exert, the easier things become until they seemingly happen without effort.
But if you don’t put forth that effort first, nothing will ever happen.
More later.
Buh,,, I’m not done,,,
Saw a few leaves falling.
I know the fall equinox has already passed and we are on the freight train towards solstice, but the winter train is always so much slower than the summer train.
😢
Its not so much the weather that gets me, its the dead and empty feeling the landscape takes on. I get the anxiety ridden feeling that was doled out so well in the opening scenes of “the Book of Eli”.
OK, maybe I exaggerate a touch; there are some rather enjoyable memories with this time of year to quell the anxiety, but the world “going to sleep” always fills me with melancholy. I know heading back north those changes will seem accelerated, and that, well,,,, Yeah, *sigh*,,,,
Back on the road and its gonna be a long-ass day. And back to the millstone tomorrow, ugh!
Dio's Workshop 