Where it feels like there is some symblance of sanity holding things together,,, just barely mind you, but there nonetheless.   Right now I feel as if its one of those moments.    Things could be so much worse than they are, maybe are worse than the guy on the street (IE, Me) sees.    

Example being what is being said about the state of Russia and the world,, more like the EU/Kraine situation.    BCE mentions that in his feeds, that even Russian Troops are saying ‘make every capitol city into a glowing glass ashtray’ but Putin holds the reins tightly still.   For how much longer is the real question, no?   We will see, (so long as the canned sunshine stays in the cans, and not released into atmo)

But I don’t think I am the only one seeing mass insanity being the norm these days.    And there are those that say its because we have lost our way, that we no longer apply the teachings of christianity to our lives.   etc etc etc,,,,

I’m not going to go all in on that line of thought, but what if, the lines of teaching are compromised by the same mentalities that make up our power mongers in the elected classes (are they elected? or are they mere puppets played for our ‘reality’ to keep us placid and quiescent?  Does the question answer itself?)    The more I have learned over the years, the more I walked away from organized religion for that very reason.   The more I learn NOW, the more I think that from the word GO, the church has been compromised and only continues to get worse.   And this isn’t JUST the Christian faiths, but the Jewish one as well.   There is plenty of evidence that the Jewish faith, at one point was polytheist, and that about 300 years before the advent of Christ, there was a purge to remove all but one, and that texts were rewritten to show “ONLY ONE” with only brief mentions of any other dieties.   

If you are curious, there are deep dives available from serious researchers on these very lines.   Heres just one and the man was a pastor that educated other pastors prior to this evoluton.   Some of them are even from the Catholic faith, from within the Vatican itself. (and that first link has an entire section with one of them.)

Why was the bible edited?   Was it because the books were bunk, or that they were counter to current teachings?    Why are there so many similarities within other texts, that put lie to some of the chapters as currently accepted in translation?   

On and on and on, the questions only raise more questions, and ultimately, the answers only lay in the past, likely to never be discovered/recovered.

We all have our beliefs.   Some are devout about theirs, maybe not as devout as the jihadii Muslims, but still, quite defensive of them.

MY FAVORITE QUOTE was along the lines of an answer to a question presented to a retired preacher.   The question “Do you believe in God as portrayed in the Bible?”  and the answer was, “I believe in the father that Yeshuah believed in.”    Now, that seems pretty straight forward until you realize that in ALL of the writings of Jesus/Yeshuah, he never ONCE mentions Yahweh, the God of the old testament as translated by the Greeks from Hebrew.   The answer was a loaded gun handed to a quizical kid, and it went off in this kids hand, after many many years.

When I picked up the Gnostic texts, was when my education of where things went sideways started.   When I read the book of Thomas,,,   The Sophia of Christ,,,     I started seeing parallels with buddhist teachings.   

And then there is the whole 18 years Christ was ‘lost’ in the original texts.   12yo blowing the minds of the elders in the temple, then nothing until he returned at 30 to begin his ministry.   

And there were ‘roads’ to the far east even then,,,,

and Buddhism is over 500 years older,,,   It had plenty of time to aggregate into a solid belief system.

And many of the teachings are not just parallels, but damn near verbatim translations of early teachings of Siddhartha,,,

Its the translation of passages like “The only path is through ME”, followed by ‘We are all sons of God’     Those counterpoint ideas were what caused me to question even the most basic of teachings…

Not that I feel the ethics are wrong, quite the opposite. Certainly worlds above most of the teachings in the Qu’ran (where killing/Subjagation of enemies is the epitome of the entire text,,,)   I did learn right from wrong by Christian education,  even my public school years had mostly still Christian ethics built in, with a goodly dose of Patriotism/Propaganda built of course (not that that is all a bad thing,,, far better than the ‘hate  your country, hate yourself for being white and male’ that seems to be the core of whats in our public educations system these days.

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I just re-read Jonathan Livingston Seagull again.   Only this time, its the original intended story, with a fourth chapter that Richard had held back (and even he is unsure why now, as he writes in the epilogue.)   (spoiler alert) IN that chapter, the original teachings of Jonathan are lost to sloth and manipulations, and only towards the very end, are the ‘new lessons’  questioned and rejected.  

Reading it, felt almost like Richard had seen the future of religions and had a good feel for where things had ‘gone wrong’ and that the new future would be exactly that, Questioned and Rejected for better simpler truths, not Dogma and Mythos.

I wonder if that stage isn’t coming to fruition even now on the world stage, that older Orders are on the verge of collapse from within, and the ‘simpler truths’, the ones that can’t be refuted by myth and dogma, stand bold and clear.  

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I’m prattling on now, aren’t I?     I will tell you this much though.   When I had my epiphany was right after my parents split, and my mother was a member of a new Church.   There was a picture of the pastor of that church with the contents of the offering plate taped over his entire body (he was clothed, you can see the suit in places between the bills)   My reaction, even then in my early years ( I believe I was 10 at the time) was “Whuduhfuck, what a friggin’ ego that shit has!”    And,,,, This was years before the whole Evangalist meltdowns of the 80’s,, I think it was before the Kool-aid Pastor wiped out his entire flock,,,,   But think about that,,, If a 10yearold kid could see the hypocrisy of the one pic, and start to question every ‘leader’ afterwards,,, Are my points above so ‘crazy’?    Maybe they are ‘wrong’ on some level, but how ‘right’ are our current teachings????   

That’s the real question in my mind.

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Kraine kicked the Bear again,,, And the bear is showing intrepid levels of patience,,,  All I can say to this recent debacle: someone(s) in high places is trying to kick off WWIII in a bad way for reasons of thier very own.   Maybe just some old skool cold war armchair warriors that want a return to that time period.   Having just had a foray into the past (in a sense) I HIGHLY discourage that particular trip,,,,  Leave the past in the past and keep putting your feet forward.   There is only one way out of this ‘reality’ and it ain’t back there,,,,  Live and learn, YES, but don’t dwell there .

Rules based orders are falling the wayside as bottom up control handles emergencies better, as has been seen in North Carolina/Tennessee area where the hurricane is still imposing its will on that area.   Rafting companies are slowly making a comeback in the area but the rivers have all changed.   Still, locallocallocal is the key there and FedGuv is all thumbs and busted big toes.

Lack of things to talk about as I am busier than a three peckered goat at work, and by the time I make it home, to hyper-excited puppers that wants to run and jump and nip (NO!) just have a grand old time with the wore-out old man,,,,

At least Zoomies returned to the fold yesterday, if only for an hour or so: but he did make headway in showing acceptance of Cosmos,,,, no head strops YET, but they did touch noses and allow full sniffies without trauma or dramas.  Double plus good in Dio’s book!!!

I need to make a follow-up appointment at the Vets for Cozzie.   He’s doing good, and I want to keep that ball rolling.   His adjustments are narrowing down to “dawg-door” and “Stay”    I still leave him on the run in the mornings when I go to the J.O.B. since if I don’t, I end up carting his butt back.   He doesn’t want me to leave, but I sure can’t have him running hells bells around the J.O.B.; especially on days like today where I wasn’t even THERE,,, but out on a jobsite 45 minutes away,,,,  

Nopes,,, He needs to learn that STAY command means ‘daddy will be home later’, and hes the ‘Dawg of the house’ till I return.   ‘Dawg of the house’ has responsibilities; protect the other housemates and keep the evil Pack at bay.    Being puppers still, he hasn’t grasped that concept quite yet,,,,,   

Learning curves,,,,, we all has ’em.    but he is learning his, a bit a time, and I’m being patient.    He’s actually come a lot further than I expected, so there is that.

(and we just had a wee bit of drama between Zooms and Coz,,, just a nose whack, but Coz HAD stuck his nose in a bit quickly, surprising Zooms,,,,  BUT, Zooms is not totally freakin’ out about ‘stinky dawg on my porch’ like he had been. )(and note, Coz doesn’t stink, but he is Dawg, and all dawgs ‘stink’ to Kats,,,)

More fun at the J.O.B. tomorrows,,, its getting near dusk here in the hills, and this ol’ grump is a little stiff and sore (though not nearly as bad when I first came home,,, that shower worked WONDERS on this old body.)

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And ‘welcomed’ home by a quite clingy and psychotic Mama-kat,,,,   Clingy to me, assaulting of Cozzie,,,

Cozzie did fantastic for his first camping trip.  FIRST being the operative word there as he will be back out with me again.   Maybe not on floating camping trips for awhile, but any carcamping; yuppers,,,, did great.   Even figured out the tent flap thing like a champ (now if I can covert that knowledge to dawgum door at the house,,,,  Give it time, he’s no dummy.)

anywhooos,,,, I forced the issue on Mama,,, I had to do the domestics thing at Da’s and I managed to convince Coz that being on the lead was acceptable (I bribed him) and went to do my thing.    By the time I returned, Mama was no longer rushing Coz and attempting assault with malice and intent to murder. and Coz was able to be within feet of her and her not going into growl mode.   She just needed reminder that “he lives here now”.      I did hear Coz reading her the riot act while I was down at Da’s, so there was at least one altercation where he decided he was NOT going to give ground again.    Didn’t hurt her, obviously, but I’m sure her ears were ringing from the decibel levels he administered.    GOOD.   He can’t let her walk all over him, and he isn’t indicating he wants to hurt her.   (he doesn’t hurt Elbee, so he understands ‘kat’ are not ‘dog’, and have different criteria involved.)   

On other notes,,, been a good weekend.   Had a moment to unwind from my TDNS dip,, Its still there, just not as intense: lingering, and will likely build again, but managable today.   Seeing freinds always helps, ‘letting my hair down’ does wonders.     Not feeling like I need to be the diplomat, (like at work) or the stolid son (at home):  Not that those things are fake, but they wear a soul thin at times.  

Now, some of you may have read Richard Bachs “Illusions” at some point in time or another.   In that book, Richard was given “the Messiahs Handbook”, and Richard Bach made one up for sale: my sister bought me a copy of it a few years back.

Its not a book meant to be read cover to cover.  EVER,,,, its one of those books with ‘one liners’, kinda like Chinese fortune cookies, but geared to the soul, not luck and fortune.   You get a thought in your mind, decide right page/left page, and just open the book to where-ever…    Believe it or not, I usually get something good from the passsage I ‘pick’.  

Late last week, this was the passage I was ‘given’.  “You wait a lifetime to meet Someone who understands you, accepts you as you are.  At the end, you find that Someone, all along, has been you.”

Yeah,,, Seems a bit solipsist, but think about it;  Even amongs friends, family, there is some level of self-protection built up.   Its small and minor in the early years, but as baggage builds, so do the interior walls.    And seldom do we realize that we built those walls, or how well.    Very few people are allowed within, and never within group because not all in the group are accepted in that way.    So yah,,, there will be times, even amongst friends and family, where I am the quiet one,

BUT

When the walls are real around me, alone at home,,,  I’m quite comfortable with ME.   Thinkin’ out loud, holdin’ conversations with fur-babies, singin’ outloud and probably off key,,, JUst little ol me and I don’t give a shit, let it all hang out.   

Even have my emotional blows by myself just to vent. 

Yeah,,, that passage isn’t some unworldly knowledge,,,,  But it IS truth.    and I needed it last week.

AH, but its Sonday, the domestics are done, the camp gear cleaned and put away (didn’t really use much this go-round so that was quick) and the furries are all back to where they were when I left on friday (still awaiting a Zoomies,,,, Hasn’t seen him since Wednesday last week.  I believe he is around, but remaining entirely “Anti-Cosmos” still.   sigh.)

More laters (or tomorrow) as I catch up on the Media-lies and cross references.  

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Cosmos found new friends at Camp.   Sasha, Riggs, Gracie, Sandy, Pepper, even PEARL OMG!!!  They all get along just great.  Sandy n Coz were bestest buds: wrastlin’ n woofin’ all yesterday eve,  and Coz slept like the dead last night.

Dio slept much easier too.  A little anxiety much relieved: not that I expected discontent amongst the four-feets,  only the unknown factors of it all.

Another day here at camp, always the early riser, Coz concurs that early starts are best, time for the Coffay.   More laters

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Seriously hitting a rough spot this week,,, Little patience for ‘teh stoopid’ that surrounds the workplace.  Not the jobs; any work is good, but there are times,,,,

And Cosmos,,,,     Dammit, I don’t wanna give up on him, he’s just a pupper,, maybe 22 weeks old, give or take,,,   BUT, Yah,, I’m frustrated over the whole new dawgum, old kats mexican stand-off.  I wouldn’t be so frustrated if it weren’t for Zoomies issues.   I like the big lunk, and he used to love Voodoo,,,

Little getaway this weekend.   Usual crew at the park, camping in the rain, other dawgums to socialize with, so I am taking Cozzie with.  Give the kittehs a mental break for a couple nights.   I need the mental break too.  Not sure how I am going to keep Cozz in line, but my thinking, take the climbing rope and give him a run,   The other dawgs are all older and much more sedate (and slobbery,,, Great Danes no less) with only one outlier (Pearl, mushfaced pug with ‘little dog’ syndrome,,,   She isn’t out much though)  Maybe my god-dawgies will teach Cozzie some manners.   Sasha especially as she tends to be the pragmatic, where Riggs tends to be all about having a good time.  I also have that collar that I am so hesitant to use,,,,   Last resort,  (and 20 on the shock?  He didn’t even flinch.   Its up to 30 now.)

BUt I digress,,,,

Frustrated with the world right now, spent 3 hours in lotus this early morn, probing the depths looking for the ‘why’.    Figured it might have been recent historical forays,,, that was not it,   Cosmos,,,, Not it.   Da situation,,,, Not it.

ITs me,,, as usual, feeling the edge of another dark night of the soul, where nothing seems worthwhile or even desirable.   The times where I just want to give ALL of my shit away and become a wandering mendicant buddhist, or something,,,,    I hit these about once a year,,, They always elicit a ‘growth spurt’ in my seeking.   But man are they dark and deep, and getting longer to boot.    I reread some of my Carl Jung books about ‘TDNS’ ( the dark night of the soul) and there is only one way out of them,,, THROUGH,,, just gotta tough it out, let the soul do its metamorphisis and pay attention,,,   Things will improve.    Even Siddhartha had his TDNS moments.  (and he did become the mendicant at one point,,,, )

No worries,,, I ain’t goin’ to give in to the desire,,, I’ll struggle through and when its past, be better off,,,,, Besides, it would cost me 10-20X more, now, to replace what I have if I let it all go.    F! that!    I may be nutz, I am not stupid.

I think part of my problem is how fast time is moving these days.  And yes, I know it doesn’t slow down at all now,,, only accelerates,,, but man,,, its almost half a year in and feels like just yesterday we watched Trumped swearing in,,,,   W?T?F?over,,,,   Call “FIre for effect” and get your’n arse movin’, Marine!!!   THAT sort of hectic frenetic fire as we get older,,, and our bodies don’t take to kindly to the acceleration factor, like we did as kids where a three month vakay felt like forever, even thought it flew by,,,,

Maybe we just stuffed so much living into a short frame, it felt like forever,,, maybe as we slow down the living thing, the clocks accelerate ,,,,,  

It’s all illusions anyway,,,,   time especially, the illusion we try to trap using little mechanical devices called clocks, but we really have no control over how time expands and contracts around us.    Minutes seem like hours, or hours seem like seconds,,, its all relative and illusory in the same thought,,,,

Listen to me blabberin’ away,,,,    Such is what happens when it rains, I have a houseful of bored pets, and a mind that is bordering on TDNS again.

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On the world stage,,, Zelensky opened his kokainekurdeled kranium again, ticked off Shootin’ Putin and got Kyiv bombed again… Big Guy Trumped is thumping his chest saying “I don’t like it”,,,,

and thats the LEAST of the BS flying…. KrainFeld of the KlownKarKokaine express has access to German missile systems, and if he uses them, Putin is going to hit Berlin because, and as he states “Ukraine doesn’t have the means to direct those missiles,, only Berlin.  They hit Moscow, I hit Berlin”

As much as I loved living in the 80’s, I don’t miss the cold war aspects, not one wee little bit, and yet,

here we are,,,,,

FUck,,,,,

nuff of that shit,,, time to go look inside and see what I can see,,,,,y’all take care

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I don’t like this: I was forced into purchasing a ‘shock collar’ for Cosmos.   When he goes into chase mode as he will when a Kat takes off running ‘Oh shit, DAWG!’, his hearing goes to the hounds, or something,,,,

I bought this, and so far so good.   I haven’t had to use the shock aspect yet.   It has a beep (fixed volume, but it stops Cos cold in confusion) Vibrate with 9 setting levels, Shock feature with 99 setting levels ( I have it on 20 currently,, I  know later I am going to find out if that does the trick or not) and a Shock booster that adds an extra 10% to the first shock feature.

And its not like he isn’t getting along with the Kats.  More Elbs than Mama (and Zooms is maintaining quite the distance, only comng in after dark to eat and then skeedaddle,,,)  Elbs even lets Cosmos nibble on him, so its not like they don’t get along,,, its just that ‘Chase’ thing.   I’ve been down this road with a dawg before and everytime, end up with a dead kat,,,  The excitement of the chase gets in the brain and civilized thought goes buy-bye,,,  NOT THIS TIME.

I shouldn’t need it often, but when the suns going down, the kats start to move and Cozzie and I are out walking, I will have the tool ready and waiting.  

But I still don’t like it.   Even dad gave me shit about it.   (guess you know where my thinking comes from, eh?) “why don’t ya just torture the poor dawg,,,”  I won’t use this thing unless I have to.  The beep thing is harmless enough to re-inforce training (don’t piss on the rosebush sorta thing) and it does work so thats ‘not torture’.   The vibrate mode totally confused the hell out of him, he acted like it came out of the ground and started trying to dig where he thought the ‘sound’ came from.  Not wanting to go down the shock road yet, so I have no idea if its going to be effective at this setting.  

If it works, great, if not, I may have to rehome Cosmos.  I don’t tolerate kat-killers.  And I pray that we don’t get there.

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Successful launch and separation, currently watching flight control as we wait for Starlink reconnection,,,

like watching water boil,,,,

So far so good though,,,   Looks like they worked out the engine bugs for hot separations.

more laters,,,,,

Lost attitude control somewhere around 25 minutes,,, doesn’t look like a controled re-entry possible,,,, 😦   Better than 7 and 8 though, where the fireworks happened in minutes of separation…  Every launch is a learning moment,,,