And not from the usual realms,,,

This’un is from all the fecal matter in the air.   I could link several articles, I could post mulitple memes about it, but why bother: y’all have probably already seen them yourselves.   Seriously, this on the cusp of blackpill stuff.

I keep trying to follow the advice that Sarah posted today.   Its damned hard.    I recall ‘evidence’ of things like Illegal servers kept in a bathroom closet, and evidence of several incidents on that server that bordered if not outright crossed the TREASON definition,,,,  No perp walks then either,,,,

Do I need to clarify?    Yes, I get the “wanna make sure there is evidence beyond shadow of doubt” and the reason why, as Sarah pointed out in that post,,,

BUT

Balance and ground,,,, Not there right now,,,    And I am having a bout of “so What” about the rest of the life I wander in right now.   Not as intense as the blackpill eating at my guts, but its there and not helping matters. 

I mentioned that Siddhartha had his DNotS’s as well.    BEFORE he became THE Buddha,

Shit just makes you wonder what the point of all this mess is.  Yeah,,, Illusions, we are here for some purpose not disclosed to us,,, educational, ‘vacation’ from the cloud, entertainment or something,,, but I’m fair certain I didn’t ask for this shit when I signed on to this trip.

yah,,, another lesson I must learn I guess.    sigh.

Can you imagine a world where everyone followed the “leave me alone” maxim?  And I mean EVERYONE,,,   There would still be interaction, mutual agreement trade and services in play, but NO GOVERNMENT getting its craw buried in your hindquarters where it doesn’t belong,.  And if there were some that had the gumption to do so, there would be a plentitude of defenders ready to put down that rabid dog.   Kind of like you rarely hear about a gunstore being held up (and usually, if you do, NOT successfully,,,LOL.)  

Yeah,,, libertarian (small L) conservative here, maybe even a bit of the woo-woo new-agey thing blended in (seeing how I am more pagan than any other religion) (buddhism isn’t ‘religion’, its philosphy,,  No gods, and Buddha isn’t a worship figure; his state is the goal.)

Anyways,,, thats the reason for my silence of yesterday,,, I wanted to let y’all know I am still very much upright and breathing, just not happy with the world at large and the reason is due to my falling back into “Expectations”,,,,  I know better.   If you expect something, be prepared to be dissappointed, PERIOD,,, That is one lesson from the studies I have been into.  Not that it needed taught again,,, thats one from many different angles and perceptions, but TRUTH no matter who or how its delivered.

its hot still, muggy to the point where scuba gear would be a welcome relief.  Only occasional showers passing through, which helps some while its raining, but once past,,, UGGHHHHHH!!!!   the moisture content of the air can be SEEN for cripes sake; a haze that can be dectected across a hot parking lot.   It turns all the of the mountains here, BLUE, not the greenery of trees that are on them.

Signing off until I can get my head on straight,,, Maybe late Satyrday,,, after a bout of boat time for me.    Supposed to be just rainy enough to drive the vacationers to shore, leaving only the diehards and lunatics (ie me)

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and I’m gonna share it with you.   

No, not some world changing, in your face dream about character over color or any of that stuff, though that was a good one: IF it could have born fruit,,,

ANywhoooZits,,,,

My dream,,, I’m in a meditation grotto,,,   One I built,,, small sandstone type flagstones for the floor, under a fairly large gazebo type awning.   Through the middle of the gazebo runs a small stream with a tiered waterfall as its headwaters.   (Where the water originally came from is not part of the dream, but since I woke, I have been playing whys and hows.)    The walls of the gazebo are technically open air, but there are mad vines climbing the faces of three of the walls, using trellis, with the fourth facing due east (sunrises!!!) and truly open air.

PEACEFUL,,, I woke so relaxed and at peace, I may as well have been tokin’ something (as one of the guys at the J.O.B. stated “whutchoobeen tokin’?  Ewe’s so chill!!”)   Three things that filled the PEACE: cool air from water and shade, falling water sounds, Limited views of the ‘real world’ with a more natural focus (even if manufactured by me)

Sigh,,,,

I wanna make such a ‘temple’ if you will,,,    More of a chill out after the day sort of place, where even the kittehs might find some comforts, or at least enough distraction to leave the old man alone for an hour or two.  (Cozzie has plenty of distractions,,, considering he has purt much ate my house thus far.   😀 )

real world,,, not much grabbing me.    Trumped and Pooty-Putin at odds again,,,,   As I said to dad,,, there is MUCH more under the surface going on than we are being told,,, Extrapolations abound and things keep pointing back at one small nation as the instigator of a lot of crap,,,,    I ain’t saying that is the case,,, but evidence is building and I don’t believe in co-inky-dinks,,,,    (and note, I haven’t stated WHICH small nation,,,, I leave that as an exercise for my readers.)   

Fact is, I dunno,,, So I worry about me, my mindset, and my NEEDS,,, Strive to eliminate the “Desires”, Limit the commercialism facets,,, (which is counter to what the internet pushes) and just BE,,,

Be HERE, now,,  this time and place, no past, no future, HERE, RIGHT HERE, NOW.   

We go through so much of our lives believing that we are completely seperate from the world, and we are so ingrained in it,,,   Yet our minds are not intune to it because we believe ‘seperate’, and that is as we have been taught our entire lives,,,   

No woo-woo here,,, If you have ever spent a day in nature without distractions of the ‘real world’, you most certainly have felt the connectiveness of things.     THAT is what I’m looking for as a foundation to my day to day.    It is achievable, I’ve experianced it, I’ve met some that LIVE IT (the Dalai Lama for one,,, Chill Dood, let me tell you, and when you are near him, talking to him, its contagious.)(only met him for five minutes in Cincy, at a conference he was a part of, and our company was providing sound for, but that five minutes is crystal clear in my mind, 20 years later.)

~~~~~  HOT today,,, Was drenched in sweat before 10am.   Half day in the feild, half day in the shop.  Pipe was so hot I had to use welding gloves to retrieve it from the yard, with a welding glove on my shoulder to keep from burning my skin.     I have work enough for a week and half of only shop work, and there are a couple I was told I will need to be out of shop for.   Work isn’t my issue at this point (wait till December, he says,,,,,)   

I can’t lie,,, I am so tired of the rat-race, and I really don’t give a damn about wealth: Yeah, it’d be nice to be so well off that if I woke one morning with the desire to fly to Egypt to see the pyramids, I could, but I have been on that road, and the headaches are far worse: at least in my opinion.   Maybe that the rewards are greater, but the rewards that mean more to me now are not things that can be bought.  Heck, even ‘finding them’ can be troublesome, but how I feel when I do find them,,, PRICELESS.    For the waterborn types,,, its like that moment when your board or kayak is cutting that perfect wave face, and all thoughts are GONE, the here-now is all there is and everything is PERFECT,,,   If you have never been, you may never know,,,,   I want to find that feeling in my day to day living,,,

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Like a 100proof whiskey on the rocks,,,, The bite gets tempered.

Things I learned this weekend.  

The NightCat lay flat hammock is pretty good, with a couple of drawbacks.    Must use a good air mattress or some other cushioning as the stretched tarp you lay on can still cause pinch points just as if you were on the ground.   I didn’t uses the air matress I had brought as my thinking was ‘too damned hot’,,,

which leads to the other downer: low air flow.    Little to no breezes and by 0200, I was popping the bug cover and rainfly to get some air flow inside.   Not a bad thing considering the set up, but some vents up high would have helped keep air flowing.    Otherwise, a grand night in the air.

Sqweeky toys will blow a meditation like RIGHT the F! NOW!!!    Found that out when Cozzie came up behind me while I was ‘lookin in’ and squeezed his newest ball: SQWEEK! and Daddy came flying back into himself with a start.   So we did some dawgie style meditation and played fetch until poor mutt was winded and in need of fluids.    He’s now passed out cold on the porch where the breeze is blowing out of the woods.

I’ve a long road to go yet, I know that,

and yes, I am talking about ‘rewiring my brain’ sort of shit.   Things I know, but can not seem to apply consistently into my world.  I do try, and I am getting better about it, but,,,, 

well, we all have our moments right?   My biggest effort is visualizing my holding a gallon mason jar.  Inside it are all the things I value, (not materially mind you, but ethics, friends, love, intelligence, learning etc: The Non-material foundations of my world.) and if I drop it, the jar breaks and all of those things are gone like vapor in the air.    Instead of ‘reacting’, which would have me drop that jar and shatter it, I have to respond in more sedate manner,,, setting the jar down gently, then responding to the input in a reasonable manner; not just lashing out as has been, oftimes, customary.  (like blowing up and quiting my job on the regular. LOL)  

Was a good weekend.. the truck is running pretty proper again, (and the MPGs went down, which tells me that filter was REALLY CLOGGED UP GOOD, and I was pushing a lean burn condition that could have killed my engine.)  Didnt’ have any problems making the run to and from camp, despite the number of hills between here and there.   Totally missed out on the fun and games of Friday night, but enjoyed the company of those there on Satyrday night.   Didn’t get stoopid with drunkeness, but we did have a good time.  Me, quiet at usual, but mostly due to lack of good hearing.  When I could get into a conversation (away from the blowing fans, or with my hearing aids in, also away from the fans.),,,,,   

Still watching the Kabuki theater,,,, Dunno where it all leads and not an insider so can only extrapolate from what is allowed to leak (and that could be strategically leaked or completely fabricated so use caution.)    BUT, seeing posts of people burning their MAGA hats,,, Come on you stoopid twits,,, someone is playing your card,,, Maybe there are reasons un-discovered/unrevealed yet, that things are playing out the way they are.   Much like that super secret bombing run on Iran recently,,, somethings you do, you don’t want your enemy having a warning of….

Or in the words of a street fighter: don’t telegraph your intentions,,, just deck the sumbitch!!!

Trumped may not be a streetfighter, but seeing some of his past negotiations, he plays his cards very very close to the chest and poker faces with the best of ’em.     And he has shown his savvy for social media scrapping,,, He leads the EneMedia around by their nose rings in social media,,,,   Don’t watch what his right hand is doing if you can’t see the left hand,,,

On the same note, a note to President Trump: WE hired you for a reason,,, We WANT TO SEE ARRESTS.  WE Want to see people held accountable for the mess that was the last four years, and the crap they started pulling in 2008 (longer really, but it came to the boiling point with Oblammy)   Don’t go jerking us around, and right now, there are a lot of people on the ground floor that feel like “same shit, different boss”,,,, That road leads to things King George could tell you horror stories about; ‘Ceptin’,,, he’s dead and been that way for a long time.(FYI,,, IT wasn’t King George in his entirity that was the problem back in 1776,  it was Parliment that was playing the fucktard games with the Colonists.   King George just signed off on the shit.)

Anywhooos,,,,, Back to the mines tomorrow,,,  It’s still hotter than a pissed off tomcat on a tin roof out.   And I have not a clue what is going on there right now.   No jobs I know of planned.  Our return to the out-of-town Job is in the future but undisclosed to this peon.  Guess just show up and see.   Same routine as always.    Fingers crossed that hours can be had.  Not that I am hurting,,, all this months bills are paid already, but I do like to make double payments on occasion: really knock those badboys down.

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Three Ricks of redoak,,, firewood for winter is in the woodshed again…   And my yard is clear of all but the stump,,,   That’s a matter of time and woodrot,,,   I could pull it out (all the roots are rotted through, which is why it fell )  but its on a part I struggle to mow so why bother: it lets me use it as an excuse to not mow there at all.  Once its rotted away enough into punk wood, I’ll mash it up and fill the rootball hole with it and maybe clean that part of the yard up so its mow-able.  FYI; redoak rots in a matter of a couple of seasons in these wet parts.  Not decades like whiteoak does.  

Issues with Buffalo sorted out,,, fuel filter was clogged.   And seeing that it looks like OEM,,,   325000 miles,,, yah, theres some gunk in that thing.   Replaced and she runs like her normal self again.   Me, the overthinker was all ready to pull the transmission pan and make sure things were all good there, but, the more I thought it through, the more I realized it was a fuel issue, (my hindbrain was adamant that couldn’t be possible: We just changed the pump right?!?!?!)    So, a $14 part vs $80 in parts and fluids, and she’s a happy go-getter again.    More to be done on her, but this gets her reliable again.   Soon(ish) I need to start thinking engine replacement/rebuild.   I have a donor block to do a full rebuild on, but that wholey trinity thing: time space money,,,    Time would have to be set aside for it and that kills the money.   Space,, whatevs,,, I’ve rebuilt blocks in a living room before (don’t ask,,, Kalifornya days.) so space is ‘where ya make it’.    Maybe that could be my winter project this year.     Not planning on any kayak builds this year (again,,,  Long story,, I have one in mind, but haven’t pulled the trigger on it yet.)  so there are going to be weeks where idle hands, still mind, will get me in trouble: an engine rebuild could eliminate the idle hands thing.

as for the ‘real world’ (that ain’t), I ain’t gotta whole lot to say about sheeit,,,   This whole Epstein list crap shows where the real world and politics are not connected in any way shape or form.   Its exposing the real power and that power is hidden behind closed doors in INTEL, and they aren’t exactly Civilian friendly, if you understand what I mean,,,   INTEL, Bankers, and you start to see where the real powers that be are hidden, and it isn’t on the other side of the ballot box: thats the illusion to keep most all of the populace quiescent.   (but the lights are coming on in the theater and people can see the gunk on the floor now,,,)

Camping,,, supposed to be out there tonight, but I’m buried under crap that needs done here and can’t wait another two three days.   Not being home this week killed that: grass doesn’t hold off on growing just because I am out of town.  And the grass is high enough now, the fleas are using it as a beachhead to invade the house again.   THAT can not be tolerated.   As long as I keep the grass low, they aren’t a problem.  

and speaking of that buried part,,,   I needz to get back at it.   My break time is over and I’ve cooled down for a minute; rehydrated even.      More laters

Live like there is no tomorrow

LOVE like you never knew hate

Learn something new every day

Laugh at yourself; we’re actually rather amusing.

LOAD, cuz this shit ain’t over with,,,

Other contractors sorta F! us, sorta not.   Fact is, I screwed up to and the fact that the other contractors have messed up The Bosses’ schedule works in my favor.   Somehow (and I figure it out at the shop when I scan my note book) I messed up building three of the five gates we needed.  The Double drives fit like a dream,, the walk gates,,, Pfhbllllrrrtttttt!    Rattled in thier openings like anorexic wastrels,,,

Its been one of those weeks too,,, I didn’t mention it in last nights post, but the truck I was driving had a blowout.   Fortnately, back tire, not a steering tire, but, it scared the ever loving F! out of me.   I thought for certain someone had taken a shot at me, with the loud boom and the mirror detonating from a section of tire taking it out.   I maintained my cool though and got us to the side of the road without incident, and the other guys were behind us in thier ‘hicles.  So getting the tire off and spare on went pretty smooth.   Especially considering there was only one spare between us (for a chevy,,, the ford wouldn’t have fit) and we had to jimmy-jack around to get all things needed to jack up the truck.   I need to see about rectifying that situation with Son of Bossman.  

THEN,,,,, oh no, the fun didn’t stop with the return, it carried further,,,  

Get back to shop, nervous wreck because I was ‘convinced’ another tire was gonna blow, (326 miles of highway speed, on pins and needles about it) and Buffalo decided she wanted ‘tentions too!   Pulled out of the lot and whuf! dead in road.   Couldn’t tell if it was a fuel issue or spark, but there I am right in front of Bossmans house (they weren’t home) diagnosing a jealous truck.   Seems we had some rainstorms while away and I picked up some water in the tank.   Recall, I had just recently replaced a fuel pump, and had issues getting the retaining ring to hold tight,,,, Yah,,, That allowed just enough water into the tank to muck up my early eve.   A little tweaking, priming the engine through the Intake and nursing her to a somewhat stable idle, then REV HER TO LIMIT and hold until the smoke cleared.    Been running like a champ since (fingers crossed),,,

AND THEN,,, I get home and Cozzie has been his puppy self, and there are parts and peices of my house scattered around the yard.   Bored puppy syndrome: his toys aren’t good enough, so he goes looking for ‘stuff’.   At least I didn’t lose anymore shoes, but I now need a new bathmat and some other stuff.  

sigh,,,,

At least  I didn’t need to call Da and request a pickup b’cuz my truck is fickle and jealous,,, (and why I carry a full tool box on her,,,,)   She’s left me like that often enough,,,

as for the world at large,,, tonight, Fuggit,,, I do NOT care,,, they could blow it sky high right now and I might find the aftermath as just an extension of ‘this week’,,,  Pessimistic? Maybe, but seriously, I am at the point of ‘not surprised by much’.

And tomorrow, I get to figure out what the hell I did wrong on these gates and make it right.    We are going back out there after the other contractors finish their deal up,  We can’t do any else until then.   And that WAS NOT in the schedule,,,  The Bosses are NOT HAPPY to say least.   My fubar is just icing on that cow-pie.

I’ll get to the catch up later tonight, and until then, its relax, cool off, appease Mama-kat (who has pushed my keyboard off my desk and into my lap.  HER DESK I should clarify,,,She just gave me that look.) and just unwind from a VERY LONG DAY  (that started at 0430)

More tomorrow,,, maybe,,, Supposed to go to camp tomorrow (taking Coz with me) and I want to go, but things may not work out that way (if Buffalo keeps up her shit,,,)

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Twelve hour day today.  Incredible amounts of stuff done, and no, we ain’t leavin’ early,,,

In fact, due to the other contractors, we are forced to stay over another day longer than scheduled.    There is 70’+ of stuff we can’t even start on let alone wrap up until they have poured the concrete and its set up enough that we can work.  

They aren’t pouring until tomorrow,,,

grk,,,,

iswhatitis,,,,

Grrr, How I dislike that term,,,, but

TRUTH,,,    Can’t make the world speed up or slow down just because it doesn’t fit YOUR desires.  

And that was the gist of the argument that I had with the other Crew lead,,,    He’s been pushing and pushing ( his crew.  I had one other with me all day and that was ‘my crew’.) and I had to point out,,, “We have all tomorrow to do what amounts to 6 hours worth of work left” (not counting that part we can’t even touch until Friday mornin’)   Thats IT!!!   Some of the detail stuff he was pushing isn’t going to gain us anything today, other than add time today that could be added tomorrow instead.  He’s pissin’ off his crew (and believe me, they let me know when they see me. )  and I get to play diplomat,,,  

BUT, we aren’t being flayed to death by scorching sunlight this time.  Lots of cloud cover, hot and humid, but without the sun beating us into submission, tolerable.   Occasional rain showers that we work through (unless we hear thunder, like yesterday,,,)  and those points are always refreshing; rinse the sweat off and cool ya down at the same time.  

miss my babbies,,,   miss my sanity of a quiet hillside retreat.   I would love to unplug the boobtoob in the room, but ‘Roomie’ is addicted to it (different roomie from last time, but they both flipped that beast on the minute they walk in the room.   All I can do is put in noise canceling earplugs and bust out my books and hope they don’t want to intrude.  (which is usually the case,,, they get sucked into the most trivial bullshit on that box.)  Fact: other than the occasional catch at Da’s, I have NO interaction with the subliminal programming of the Mainstream networks, or cable networks for that matter.   I get most all of my information through Internet sources, most of which are from overseas, and I pick and choose to see as many different sides as I can.

I digress,,,

I don’t care really,,, neither of these guys have any interest in actually using thier brains very much, let alone trying to expand them; maybe even learn something useful and new.   One even told me, “I quit learning when I left school” (a blatant falsehood, but I’ll let it slide) and my comment back was ‘My education started well after I left school, and I found out that most of what I was taught was flat wrong.

I’m whooped,,, babbling even.   Just wanna go home and spend time with the kids and silence.  

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0430 came TOO early,,,,

0530 launch time: Same,,,

then the five hour drive to the worksite,,,  

And things began in ernest as soon as our feet touched ground.  

until it really started rainin’ and the sky began to grumble,,,   I, for one, and my co-Emps concur, will not play with poles stuck in the ground during Natures temper tantrums.

Hotel blues,,, I haven’t had these in years, and this set hit hard and fast.   I miss my babbies,,,   Cozzie was laying on his bed this morning, lookin’ at me in the bathroom with this ‘Seriously dad, 0430?’    He didn’t get up until I was humping my bags out to the truck, and that look about killed me: that totally ‘you’re abandoning me’ look,,,,    ughhh,,,, I had to stop and snuggle with him for a few minutes and was 5 minutes late on arrival due to it.    The boy is very much family now.   Even Elbee agrees,,,,

Mama still likes to hiss and growl at him, but the face swats have most entirely gone the wayside.  I can’t say that about Zooms, but even there, its getting less frequent.   As you can see in the above pic, Elbs and Coz are now KIN,,, they play constantly and there have been times where I found Elbs playng “Alien Facehugger” on Cozz, and Cozzies tail is in full wag mode,,,

Its been a long day,,, I went to dinner pre-shower (ick) but that shower is now calling my name followed pretty quickly by a mattress and pillow.  

Y’all take care.

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