Off the bat, fair warning, this is likely to be an VERY airheaded post,,,, I will try to provide links as I can find them, as I remember them, but,,,

here goes.

I’ve been feeling VERY discombobulated of late.  Lost in the weeds playing with my toes sort of discombobulated.   And I have had a hella time trying to figure out what was the bother,,,,

Well, I watched this video (and yes, I was confused at one point with the ‘lecture’ and still am,,,  “What did I miss here” sort of confusion,,, but for the most part, it hit home quite well.

This sorta popped up in my Utoobie feeds, after nearly a month of Alan Watts and some others,,,   

Coupled with this one, the two allowed me to look deeper at why I have felt lost in the weeds playing with my toes.

For the Record, I much prefer Alan over Neville, even though they are both English speakers, touching on the same subject matter, but from opposing points of view.   

NOW,,,, Whats been bugging me?   

SUCCESS.

wait, what?!?!

You heard me,,, SUCCESS.    As in, the more I look around me, the more I realize I have manifested EVERYTHING I wanted when I started my early wake up after my break up with the EX.

I have my own home.

I am essentially independently employed.

I have (mostly) all the things I had to jettison back then, back in my folds and useful to me.

I have done things that MOST people only dream of doing: writing and publishing a book, living off grid, going on adventures( kayaking, winter camping) driving halfway across the country to get a ‘new to me’ boat, THREE TIMES NOW,,,, etc etc etc.  

And I still have all of the adventures from prior that I can “boast” on,,, having been a touring audio dood for national acts, certified mechanic, Marine, etc etc etc

Whats been bothering me is “whats next?”

and in this political environment, that is a sketchy question for the normal day to day.   

AND, I have been craving moving my efforts to more desirable location,,,,  (well documented here,,,,)  Again, in a sketchy timeline,,,,

It hit me last night, that my ‘success’ has become what is holding me back.   I have quite literally ‘created’ my world to my imagination (damned close anyways) and now, its time to ’empty the cup’

And what ISN’T getting in the way is my age.   I have gone and ‘created’ my world several times now.   Sometimes expanding on what was,,, sometimes from whole cloth (as in when Amy and I split),,,,   Age isn’t as much a factor, but outside influences ARE.    IE: the economy, the immigration influx and its polluting some of the areas I am intereseted in, Not knowing if next week I will be on the active “hunter/killer” list for elimination,,,, you get the idea.

And I know with some of my older knowledge, I could walk away from society as a whole, and in 6 months be set up like Grizzly Adams,,,, But that way does not attract me as it did when I was really young and dumb.(for one, that way is WORK, A LOT OF WORK,,, I’m a lazy bastach despite what my history would tell you,,,,)(Think Heinleins “The man too lazy to fail” story.)

Not that works scares me,,, the scar tissue on my hands will tell you that I ain’t afraid to bleed or get my paws dirty to get a job done:  I just pay attention to the ‘work smarter, not harder’ maxim. 

Careful what you wish for, you just might get it.   And sometimes, when you do, and it seems right, at first, time will dictate that you were the fool.   And thats where I am at right now.  16 years gone,,, and I look back and think, ‘if only I had known this,,,,,’  

Hindsight is ALWAYS 20/20,,,

sigh.

Hell, If I had known then, 20% of what I know now, I would have made much BETTER financial decisions when I was actually making the sort of money that encouraged investing.  (sure as shit ain’t there NOW,,,,  )

That figuring out why I have been in the tall weeds twiddling my toesies is why my anxieties fell off while kayaking.   My tensions are abated and that means my spine is now flexible again, not some 2×4 rammed up my ass to my neck. 

Now comes the ‘coming to terms’ with my manifesting side.   The one that pulled an RV out of the aether, the one that managed to convince Nudge that, yes, Dio NEEDED a Dawgum to keep his sanity, the manifestation that pulled a 17′ kayak out of the webs and tossed it in my path when I could afford it.   NONE OF THAT WAS ACCIDENTAL, and all of it is documented here. (or an older blog, but same point.)   

WE CREATE OUR OWN WORLDS, and if you aren’t getting what you desire, its probably because there is something in your thoughts underlying the desire.

And that brings me to the current external world of the “Fractured and Corrupt” that I certainly did NOT wish for,,,, BUT ENOUGH OTHERS MOST CERTAINLY HAVE,,,, and maybe, some that didn’t, inadvertently coaxed it into being by manifesting their fears.   Maybe I am equally guilty on that last,,,,    The whole situation is so complex, that no  one in particular is to blame, but in the same breath, we are ALL to blame.     We didn’t stand when we should have.  We didn’t punch the needy in the friggin’ face when they showed thier stoopid,,,,

I dunno where all of this is going.   Blog, this post, our future, you name it.  I am back out in the weeds again playing with my toes, but this time, I know WHY, and now its figuring which cup gets emptied out and which I drink from.  and just how to do that when the future is so hazy as to be an image behind fractured glass in a smoke filled room.

Keep livin’

Laugh to shake the walls.

Load up like the ‘end is nigh’.

and smile and pet the kittehs when they offer their heads your way.

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Edited to fix link, and to remind you, tomorrow is a ‘downer post’,,,,

Ain’t nuthing new eh?

And some not political stuff

More laters

Got my waves today.   Went late too.  

No anxiety issues either, not even when I was hit with clapotis near the opposing boat ramp.  I paddled from one to the one two miles off and had a couple of open water crossings along the way; didn’t just hug that shoreline.  Had the “rape your retinas” hat on so I was fully visible, and the other boaters were very respectful of my diminutive size and limited speed.      This particular put in tends to older calmer types, not the speedy-gonzales Seadoo hooligans.   They do like to get on plane and make wakes, but they respect other boaters and give berth as needed, even dropping off plane if they must get close to us slow movers.

And Klarisses Icecream boat was at the ramp when I returned: Had me an IceCream Sammich on the shore for a treat.

There is something calming about waves washing over your front deck as they hit your boat off the beam quarters,,,  Landing in your lap even.    (why we wear skirts,,, keeps ya from having to pump water out every five minutes.)   Wave hits, dig in paddle on back side of wave, Pulllllll, and punch the next wave in the face, REPEAT.   Didn’t matter which direction the waves were coming from, Lyssa and I handled it all with grace.   Me especially since Lyssa IS made for that sort of shit.   

Even did some surfing at one point,,, only difference being which face you dig your paddle in.   Grab the front face and pull hard and fast, get up to wave speed and then ‘fall’ down the face while the beast pushes you along.    Found Lyssa prefers surfing from the aft quarters, not directly behind.   Fine by me, as that means I get more surf time along the trough.   (assuming its a long wave face    some boat wake are not.)   I get what BOM finds so calming about surfing now,,,   hearing that water hiss along your hull (board) while ‘falling down the wave’,,,,   there is a zen-like feeling that comes over you,,,, the world slows down to that very moment in time for you, nothing else exists except you, the board/boat and wave,,,,

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Something of a downer post in the tubes awaiting launch.   Won’t give you a heads up on it, just know, its NOT intended to blackpill anyone, just bringing out some thoughts on things past and present.  

Not gonna touch the upcoming Stolen (S)election Cycle2024,,, just hoarding popcorm and beer for when the time approaches,,,    don’t think its gonna play out the same way as 2020 did, and certain groups are in for a shock this round.   will see.

keep laughin’, loadin’, and livin’

a very relaxing and re-freshening day on the lake.   Didn’t do many miles; that wasn’t the goal.  PEACE OF MIND was the goal and I picked up some of that out there on the waters.

Did some shore work as well.  Dock the Lyssa and get out, sit a spell, look at the water, the sun, the wave play, listen to the winds whispering to the waters, CLEAR THE MIND, No thinks, just observe, let the Sub flow and observe the mess that is under the frontal lobes command.   Ask myself two questions when the thoughts bubbled to the surface: “is this relevant?” and “Is there a future benefit here?”   Funny how when you start to ask your own mind these things, how quickly it quiets up,,,,

DID take camp gear with.  DID NOT use it.  Didn’t even open the hatches until I came home (curious about water leaks)(had one leak in the back. not sure where. YET) 

All in all, much happier about ME right now.   I didn’t clinch up when I got into Lyssa; the first time in over a month I have had her on water.  My bodies reaction was ‘just anudder day at the office’.    Guess getting rough water time in last week set the gears in good and solid.   Different boat, same muscle memory.   Played with edging at the put-in before taking off and was getting water over the coaming line of the skirt and holding it steady.   Good enough.   No (real) waves today, but would have been just fine had there been.   (didn’t do Laurel Lake today.  Watching gas costs,,, BUT!!! All but one of the bills are paid for the month,,,)

So why the “Not Free” title?    Because I Feel obliged to be the home body, and impromptu camping is a no-no.   I know the kids won’t starve if I spend one night away, but, I know the guilt I would feel, and not just for the fur-babies,,,    Da would blow a fuse if I didn’t give fair warning on something like that.  That is not ‘impromptu’,,,,  

Still, I will keep Lyssa loaded (soon as I find that leak and seal it up) and one day, hit the water for a couple of days and with no warning.   Might even have to call into work from Camp,,,,  Come winter, that set up will shift too BlueJean and winter gear.

NOW, its time to go investigate leaky-leaky,,,,,

was gonna post, but dissemination works,

and doesn’t raise my BP as much

GO READ   Watch the gaslighting in real time.

see how what was a verboten subject is now ‘safe for handling’ and think about “why now?”  ( I can tell you; they intend on showing how Trump was the force behind “Project Warpspeed” and blame it ALL on him,,,, They have already tried to say HE was the reason for the shutdowns when NO, he declined that and left it up to the individual states, AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN.   )

THINK

READ

THINK SOME MORE

QUESTION EVERYTHING!!!

And do try to laugh AT them,,,  They hate that,,, but they are damned  easy pickin’s for stooopid.

JUST FIGURE HEADS, out there to take the heat when it all goes teats up.

Let me start off with a weather report.   Galloping rampaging Thunderboomers across the lower half of Kentuck all day.   spotty sunlight at best.  Chance of flash flooding: purty damned good,,,,   

Actually, the gravel at the top of my drive is now at the bottom of my drive.  The road to my house has even MORE micro-canyons in it and getting home, 4×4 was mandatory, as there were areas where I only had three wheels in contact with terrafirma.    County hasn’t touched this road in 6 years and I highly doubt they are gonna now,,,   Guess I need to borrow the bucket loader from a cuz and get bizzy at some point, (that is, if he doesn’t volunteer to do it again,,,_

Nowwwssss   On with the show,

I don’t want to dwell on a Dood beating on a woman in Womans Boxing in Paris.    Sorry peeps, this is what you have been asking for with all the Gender Bending Tolerance Crap you have been trying to shove down our fucking throats.   We have tried and tried to tell you “Here there be monsters” but y’all NEVER FUCKIN’ LISTEN,,,,

SO with that out of the way, Lets shine the light on whats REALLY going on.     Gaslighting the Kamalala-ding-dong while totally blacking out Trumped,,,,, The Donald needs to get off this ‘refined Presidential’ kick and get back on the Mean Tweets,,,,   For fucks sake man, THEY TRIED TO BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT ON A NATIONALLY TELEVISED FORMAT,,,, Me, personally, I’d become the beligerent that would make the old DONALD look tame as a kitten after feeding.  Fuck their Feelz,,,,    Yeah, they are gonna try like hell to steal this election, and they might even do it,

BUT THEY AREN’T GETTING AWAY WITH IT AGAIN.  

People are aware of the bullshit now.  WE CAN DO SIMPLE MATH AND KNOW THAT 1+1 does NOT equal 80 million,,,,    If they manage the steal, the backlash from people not giving a damn anymore, knowing that “We The People” is toilet paper to the PTB, That the courts are weaponized against those “Not in the Big Club”,,,,

aw for fukssake,  there goes the BP alarm,,,,   to soon to hit the lake, to early to pass out,  and not nearly vented out enough yet,,,,

Its Fridaze,,, shop day in a shop where it rains almost as much inside as it does out.  Welding of all things to boot.   ever have a raindrop hit the molten puddle of iron your are working?   Not pretty,,,,

long day.  spat burns in strange places from ‘Splodie arc puddles.   Not a happy camper: ain’t camping yet for one, nor paddling for that matter, but then, getting to the lake would be a fools errand with these storms rampaging about.  Would be sitting in the parking area watching weather radar, not paddling,,,,  am considering making tomorrow my domestics day, as the storms are ‘supposedly’ going to abate tomorrow eve.   That would give me all day Sonday to play,,,

but this is Kentuck,,, don’t like the weather, wait five minutes: it’ll change.   and that change might mean several days MORE of the fun,,,   wait and see.

sigh

I’ll paddle in rain, but when the lightning starts, I’m GONE,,,  and there has been A LOT of the flashy flashy boom booms today.   I have no desire to ride the lightning,,,

Usual scans of the netz this AM and

Gotta agree with this’un from Ragin’ Dave

What are we willing to do to derail this monstrosity that is being shoved down on us.   

I haven’t made up my mind on what I am willing to do here’bouts.   This is decidedly blue country for the most part, THOUGH, I have seen a lot of people jumping that particular floating garbage scow of late.   

Heres the problem locally.   I have seen this with my own eyes.    There are a lot of people here that are functionally illiterate: Can sign on the dotted line, but couldn’t decypher the instructions on a box of cheerios if asked.   And they VOAT,,,   They go into that booth and if there is a blue D on the name, thats who gets voated for ‘Because that’s the way Daddy voted his whole life’

No, I am not kidding.

EDUCATING FOOLS IS NOT MY FORTE,,,

I barely tolerate fools,, Why do you think I want to move out of this area so badly?  Despite the fact that I have invested so much time and effort into my homestead, I would happily abandon in place 90% of my investment if I found somewhere more compatible with ‘Me’ (and had the means,,, but that is getting closer to “just do it and pray”,,,,)

This is why we need voter reform.   There needs to be some “Standard” applied, not just “citizen” which is becoming even more obscured as time goes by.   And AGE,,,, Oh lord, please help me.    There are near 30ish peeps I have seen that are barely 5th grade moral/ethic/emotional level,,, and you let them have an opinion of how government works,,,,, There are reasons we see “letting the fourth graders grade their own tests” and the resultant “We aren’t responsible” from agencies.

reasons a Failed Upwards Cumbucket is now on the Presidential Ticket, haveing never recieved a single, NOT ONE SINGLE VOAT for that position,,,   ANd yet, I would bet that she gets even MOAR VOATS for the seat than even SLo-JO got.    Assuming that they haven’t Permentaly perforated the Donald in that time.  

I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again, but my time here is short today, so not going to expand on it too much.

STOP FEEDING THE BEAST!!!!   TAX REVOLT and this shit CEASES!!!!    Every single swinging Richard and Jane flies that middle finger and keeps the money at home.   (and yes, I know they get theirs in so many insidious ways, from fuel taxes and sales taxes and, and, and,,,, ) but cut the bullshit and take back your incomes and tell the fuckers to figure it out.   THEY CAN’T ARREST US ALL and the few they ‘make examples of’ need to be supported but not ran from.

gotta do the J.O.B.

keep livin’ laughin’ and loadin’