(with ones-self)

Talked about ‘Seek the Good’, and I stand by that, and I know in this day and age, its damned difficult.   I try, daily, to keep the balance of sanity while it seems the world is crashing.   Well, It is,,,   but it never goes away.   What comes after may be better, and the only way to get ‘Better’ is to envision it and make efforts towards such in your own small world you control.

Thats my biggest problem with Burnout.    I know ‘you can’t change people’, I know it know it know it.   I can’t say I am trying to change him; in fact, I am pulling back quite a bit these days.   All due to his actions, or lack of, more specifically.   I say ‘Dood, you really need to make an appointment with a dentist.” and he agrees and nods, and

nuthin’ happens.  No dentist appointment, no doc appointment, nothing.   Just ‘more Ibuprofen’ and ‘he’s ok’ for a little longer.   The boy has wisdom teeth that are coming in cockeyed and causing MASSIVE ear infections, and he won’t do a damned thing to better himself, even while in agony.  

Nope,,, not going to waste my breath.   His history he has shown us at the J.O.B. tells me the same thing,,, He talks a lot, but nothing changes EVEN IF ITS IN HIS BEST INTEREST AND HE KNOWS IT.  

You can’t fix stoopid,,,   He’s no dummy, has a bit of a brain upstairs when he chooses to use it, but his WILL and DRIVE are broken, or something.   

SO I question something here: Is this a case of our modern world and the war on White Males?   I know that has been ongoing for many years now, and is really showing its head in the younger crowds.   Young men so broken down by the myths indoctrinated in them, that they see no point in trying.   No spines.  No drives.  

Yeah,,, broad brush application here, as there are some that come out of the schools swinging and ready to take on the world, but they are a VERY SMALL percentage,,, Maybe even a fraction of one. (and most all are out of private/catholic/homeschool,,, NOT public, goverment funded indoctrination centers.)

Back to Burnout: I’ve spent a couple of days thinking about this.   His asking me to take him kayaking spurred the thoughts, and trying to figure a way to decline, NICELY, lead to many mental conversations, gaming different tactics.    And I keep coming back to “You need to focus on improving your life situation before you go adding FUN that you can neither afford nor access without being dependent on me.”  

And I point the finger back at myself at that point, saying: “I didn’t just happen to have a home and the stuff I own: I worked my tail off for what I have, even if that work was me busting knuckles to build boats, for a hobby I enjoy.   NO ONE GAVE ME SQUAT!”

Life ain’t fair, and if someone is telling you otherwise, check for your wallet, because they are scamming you in other ways.   I want to help others, I want to teach, BUT, I don’t want to waste my time when its obvious that the ‘target’ has the self preservation sense of a domestic turkey in a spring shower.(not a myth,,, saw two drown that way when I was a kid.  We ate turkey for weeks,)

I’m seeking the good in this,,, Not really seeing it as yet, but nothing happens in this little world of mine by accident, not really; there is always some lesson involved.   His are obvious.   Mine is much more obscure.

Keep on livin’

No, not going all woo-woo on ya.  Just wanting to point out one basic premise of the ‘world as illusion’.

You get more of what you percieve.

IE, if you only seek the negative, that is exactly what you will get.

Over at GoV is a post about burning out, and a definite air of ‘why bother’   Oh Brother, I’ve been there, I get it, I sympathize,

and I disagree.    Things aren’t nearly as bad as all of that.    Get out of your house and walk around.   When you seek the negative, you get the negative.   GO SMELL SOME FLOWERS.   BUT,,,, Before you head out that door, get the crap out of your head and think good things.   If you don’t, you will find exactly what you seek,

You will find exactly what you seek, in every case.   It may not be picture perfect imagry of your head, but it will be close.   If you only think the world is falling down around your ears, then you will only see the cracks in the foundations and the piles of human feces on the sidewalks.   But if you seek signs that things aren’t so bad, you’ll see the flowers growing in those cracks, and the people doing good things for others without demand.  It may be a Rocky Kanaka, sitting with dogs, in trying to make the world a little brighter for the furry types, one paw print at time.

It might be getting on the nets and finding which churches are doing reach-outs on the regular; offering an hour (or more) of your time once a week.  

It may be trying to help that burnout turn his life arouund,,, (  Good luck with that, ask me how I know.  ) 

BUT, There is GOOD in the world still.  You have to, YOU MUST, set the feeds aside at least once a week and seek the good still out there, or you are going to start replicating the negative in your own little sphere, even start having issues of health and wellness.   Why do you think I go kayaking so much?  

Set your internal imagry towards good and stop focusing on what may be,,, start focusing on the “illusion you want” not the “Illusion they want you in” and you will find the skies get a little clearer.

Prepare for the worst, but strive for the best, RIGHT?   Don’t let the preps strangle-hold you, taking over your outlook on the world at large.

Smile

Smell the flowers

SEEK THE GOOD

Keep on livin’

when certain groups get all silent like,,,,   Namely, in this case is one side of the UniParty,,,   Lots of harping going on with trials against TRumped, but the more they keep pushing the corpse in Chief on the people, the more backlash they get

AND SOME OF THEM ARE NOTING IT   Namely, there has been some “ya-know, this is all bullshit and we are starting to stink like it.”

Like right there, where the interviewer called her out and she had NOTHING,,, So she doubled down, and kept trying to ride her crap over the dialogue,,,  

They are scared,,,

Not about Trumped,,, He’s the symptom, not the ‘virus’,,,  People are ‘going viral’ with waking up, and the numbers, even the skewed to their desires numbers, are showing “AWAKE” is the new trend.   We see their bullshit, and more and more are calling them on it.   That more Demoncraps are jumping ship for RFKjr than those from Trumped says more about the Good Ship Status Quo,,, Like the fact that its taking on water and listing badly.   The engine room is on fire and the coalmen keep shoveling, but the screws are working in different directions.

It’s gonna be one seriously ‘interesting’ year, and probably going to end up with quite a bit of bloodshed.  “Whose?” remains up for debate, but I would imagine that current deepstate is working out someway to shatter the framework and go full bore Totalitarian on us,,,   

Good luck with that FUBAR.   

Finished privacy fence today,,, Kray-Kray called the cops on on us again.   One of our guys went across the street and marked a bush in the woods, and she took offense at that, so called the po-po,,,

Trooper showed, talked to her, talked to us, stated “just trying to keep the peace”  AS HE SHOULD BE, and left us to our own devices.   Just asked that “stay on this side of that fence” to keep the beast quiet.   By that time, we had enough fence up that we could do our business elsewhere and she couldn’t see squat.      Didn’t take any pics, but it looks really nice.   Don’t really like privacy fencing: it blocks too much airflow IMO, but when you have psycho next door; yeah,,, I can see a need and low air flow is a sacrifice for sanity.  

just skating my way to the weekend at this stage.   Looking forward to some serious paddle time, without the agenda of “racing” attached to it.  Just get out, relax, see the sites, and air out the soul some.   Haven’t brought up the ‘don’wanna take ya ‘yakin’ ” to Burnout yet, and he hasn’t raised the question.   Good enough, but I have a couple of scripts in my head on how to handle it.  

Lyssa is ‘mostly ready’.   partially buffed out.   All the repair areas are there, but I want to buff the bow and stern as well: at least make her ‘kinda match’.    Probably won’t take her out this weekend: Bluejean wants/deserves time on water too.  And its not like I have any intention of ‘pushing it’,,, shoulder is still a wee bit whacked from that last two miles chasing down a canoe.   Not crippling, and I would like to keep it that way. (and have been babying it at the J.O.B.   No diggers or bars,, no high impact stuff)

Yup,,, nothin’ much to talk about, just ramblin’,

but summer is coming on fast and its gonna be a hot one, in more ways that we can even imagine, if the few headlines I am seeing are any indication.   I plan on LOTS of kayak time to maintain some sanity, since I am forgoing chasing moto’s.   Kayaks I have, Kayaks I can use.  (considering putting Rio on the Buffalo so I can hit the river on my way home,,,  not quite yet, let the shoulder settle down some first. BUT, the thought is there.)

More laters

Keep on livin’

Unless the target WILLS change, easier to find wall and bash your own head in, than face the frustration,,,, (note, desire has nothing to do with change, ya gotta WANT it with every ounce of your soul,,,and then ya got works to do.)

Rain-out,,,   The Bosses took the big Cat to the shop in Lexington to have it gone over and make sure things are top notch,  Bossman thinks there is an issue with the track, Son of and Self think “It’s tracked,,, gonna give ya a wyrd ride.”

Me’self: wet sanding,,,,   why not, i’s rainin’ and a lovely April shower at that,,,  So standing out in the rain going over Lyssa with 120grit and plane sander (analog type 1, no moving parts)  She’s smooooootthhh now,,,,   Dunno why I’m bothering really since I found MORE spider cracks in the hull,,,  She is a bit on the old side these days, but she still floats and still does what I ask,,,    She’ll do until I can afford the boat I really want,,, or build it,,,

or the world explodes and all of this play is moot anyways.

She’s sitting on the porch now, wiped down with a microfiber towel and drying.   I am thinking all I am going to do now is polish and wax her,,, that epoxy was a nice finish, but it yellowed badly.    Will make future repairs (*those spiderwebs for instance) much easier if I am not clearing off gobs of epoxy first.

Bored silly to be honest.    Looking at the sky and thinking, ‘yaknow,,, the lake wouldn’t be a bad place to be right now,,, and ya have BJ loaded up,,,,”    Bored and LAZY apparently.   Not wanting to get suited up in wetwear,,,,   LOL  

Besides,, What I really wanna do is go camping more than kayaking.   The last 12 miles I put on, slaked my thirst for paddle time, at least for a few days.   Can’t do the camping thing until the weekend rolls around, if then,,, depends,,, Might get impulsive,,,, dunno.

Tha’s’alright,, sometimes one just needs a day of nuthin to recharge batteries.   Soul-or batteries need recharged too yaknow,,,, 

keep on livin’

to last nights late post-up

Maybe I am ‘trying’ to bring the past forward because I would rather live in that time, compared to now.

You can never go home again, the one lesson that I learned/re-learn every decade or so.

Thats past, there is only the future and its (seemingly) unwritten.    Your thoughts, feelings and focus will help write that chapter (PROVEN)

The past can only, and should only, be GUIDELINES, not the model.

You can’t go home again,,, its  not there anylonger.    The roads may look the same, but “There” isn’t; it’s only in your head, and that can’t be taken away.  

Keep putting one foot in front of the other

WET SANDING

for those that know, I need say nothing else, RIght?

At least I only need to sand the one side, the outside hull.   the inside can be rough and most no one will notice (especially that section under the seat,,,)  That outside though: gotta be smoother than a babies bottom.   Not far from it now, but to feather that out into the current un-damaged areas,,,  that takes more elbow grease.   Gotta blend it all up before I go slappin’ more epoxy on top of it.

————————————————————-

I got nothin’ much to add to things right now.   To be quite honest, I am doing a bit more introspection than watching the world at large currently.   Trying to figure out why I keep looking back down the roads I have traveled to get to here/Now.  

And part of that is wanting to bring some of those things forward again,,, like the Bikes,,,  

Why?   I rode down those roads once upon a past,,,   I rode them solo, for the most part, about like I am with the Kayaks now,,,   Occasionally picking up a ‘run’ and riding with others, (like a kayak race,) or the weekend of friends going out and just putting miles on (like hitting the Pigeon or Buck for whitewater)  

And I built up a couple of bikes in my days, much like building a kayak on my porch.   I have a couple of basket cases under my belt to ‘brag’ about,,, Sorely wish I had never sold that 920 to buy a Honda Civic,,, all because my area manager felt I needed to be more ‘residential’ or something like that,,,still amazes me that money can intimidate me into irrational choices against my nature.  (I don’t see wealth as a dollar figure, but a character trait.   Some of the ‘wealthiest’ people I know are dirt poor and some of the wealthiest people I know of, are Spiritually bankrupt.  Does that make sense?)

But what gives,,, what am I desiring out of that ‘lifestyle’?   Is it the ‘lifestyle’ I am chasing, or just that sense of freedom, that riding horses, even iron ones, seems to give.   Certainly is why I like kayaks over canoes or power boats.   (though to give credit where due, a canoe can haul a ton more material with less hassle.)

Certainly its not the ‘Outlaw’ vision that so many equate with it.   That shit doesn’t  do a danged thing for me.    Played in that arena while out west and left it when I came back east.    And why I rode with no colors and solo for so many years.    Still have my colors mind you, and INDEPENDENT is prominent,,,   Just chose not to sport such and keep the bullshit to a minimum.

Maybe I made the mistake of listening to the rumble of pipe again,,,,   That siren song left over from when I was a kid and saw (more like FELT) my first Bike Run through the hills of Flagstaff AZ.   Dunno how many bikes were in that run, but the rumble could be felt minutes before the first bike was in view and lingered deep inside for days,,,,

Certainly nothing kayaks can reproduce, even when there are 120 of them present,,, LOL.  Completely different spiritual realms between the two ‘loves’.   Maybe its just the gearhead in me wanting a fix that isn’t “chevy” powered.  You know of what I speak: that rush when you twist the wick on that candle and the horse roars to life, launching you down the road,,,, No rush quite like it, unless you are into top fuel drag cars, or high-performance warbirds,,,

I dunno,,, it’s muhnday night, Need to head to bed soon (up late for me actually) and my brain doesn’t want to shut down just yet,,,

Time for a night cap and shut eye, and maybe something will gel up and leave me at peace with myself,,,, at least for a few hours.

10th place!!! of 19.    Hadn’t realized there were that many of us out there.   And shaved a full 6 minutes off last years time, even with a sinking boat.   Woohoo!! Go me!!!

LOL   more later as I catch up.   Had to share that though.