Memorial Weekend.

That three day weekend, thoughts of the past, which is quite funny, since this month to date has been akin to my paddling the eddyline of a tidal rip.  Total chaos of currents under my keel, one minute pushing this way, the next the other, and in a second, caught in a maelstrom whirlpool,,,   Wild memories long buried resurfaced, memories of love and light, memories of events that in new light were betrayals of trust and friendship.   Memories of why I went down the roads I did: not all for the best, but compromises to hold an ethical line.

Memories of faces long past, faces that were last seen in the dusts of the Middle East.   Dusts, called sand, but so fine, a handful tossed into the air doesn’t hit the ground, but blows away like so much fog on the wind.   Dust that gets into the cracks and crevices of everything, slowly polishing even the roughest surface smooth like glass.

TIME

you can’t fight it.

Time and exposure will soften and distort everything.  Things that should be held dear become taken for granted.   Those that should be forgotten and left in the dust bin hold high ground, swaying opinion and direction.   We are a negative species: it’s hard wired in our brains to see the negative, hold it and recall it.  Its a survival trait.    Re-training ourselves requires serious effort, and is often thwarted by that hardwired aspect.   Holding the negative, vs learning from it, slowly poisons our souls.

I see where all of this month came from, traveled and ended with, and I feel sorrow.   But something that was holding  me back has been cast off, a deckline that was fouled has been cut away, freeing the ship to move forward again.   So the sorrow also carries a feeling of freedom again, not happiness, but contentment: contentment of a mind free of guilt, knowing that, even if there was some bad air exposed, or poisons let loose, its was for the benefit of growth.  

Let go. Move forward. Empty that cup.

The path is still wide open, no defined goal or direction.  I know why, I hold that purpose open for now, because the current purpose is still in play.   And until that purpose is fulfilled, my personal wants and desires remain on hold.  

TIME

you can’t fight it.

but you can flow with it.

And so I choose to FLOW,,,,

moving forward, with the past as a foundation, not a guide post…

Oh, let the sun beat down upon my face
With stars to fill my dreams
I am a traveler of both time and space
To be where I have been
Sit with elders of a gentle race
This world has seldom seen
Talk of days for which they sit and wait
All will be revealed

Talk and song from tongues of lilting grace
Whose sounds caress my ear
But not a word I heard could I relate
The story was quite clear
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

Ooooh
Oh, baby, I been flying
No, yeah, mama, there ain’t no denying
Oh, ooh, yeah, I’ve been flying
Mama, mama, ain’t no denying, no denying

Oh, all I see turns to brown
As the sun burns the ground
And my eyes fill with sand
As I scan this wasted land
Trying to find, trying to find, where I’ve been

Oh, pilot of the storm who leaves no trace
Like thoughts inside a dream
Here is the path that led me to that place
Yellow desert stream
My Shangri-La beneath the summer moon
I will return again
Sure as the dust that floats high in June
When movin’ through Kashmir

Oh, father of the four winds, fill my sails
Across the sea of years
With no provision but an open face
Along the straits of fear
Oh, oh
Oh, oh

Live

LEARN

Love

LAUGH

LOAD