Random numbers

But Universe most definitely does,,,

Feeling like I’ve done a turn in a yahtzee cup,,

The pupper on the porch tells me that things are real,,, they just don’t feel real. I want to take Cozzie to the lake with me, but right now, I need the water time and Coz isn’t going deck riding on a kayak,,, Canoe, no problem,, decked kayaks suck for dawgums.(especially energetic puppers!!!) Canoe is on the radar, will find and get, but till then, there will be “no dawgums allowed” days. And maybe thats for the best right now. dunno,, still scratching my head on some things, minor things, but THINGS,,, not peoples; word things,

words have meanings, but are the meanings received the message sent? always a question in the hind mind.

load the dice up, toss into air. land where they may,,,

I have spent 16 years living alone. Many a night spent in long hours, staring into a fire, with nothing more than the sound of Voo snores and the pinging sound of heated metal as the stove heated and cooled. You look inside on those nights, you question your very existence at times like those, you find what works, what doesn’t, you find peace or you find madness, but you will find something.

What I found was that I am quite comfortable in my own head, in my own body. Failing the body may be, but the mind is still sharp. I found that even with the losses, the griefs, the pain, the loves, the angsts, betrayals, friendships, not so-friendly associations, the happy times, the bad times, the rich times, the poor times,,,,, I’m ok. Sometimes old wounds do need ripped open to heal. Sometimes the scab needs pulled to find that its already healed over.

You can never go home,,, It ain’t there.

That was the biggest lesson I learned so many years back. Home is where you make it, not where you remember it. I’ve had 16 years to build from that. Do I know where my path lay from here? Hell no! I know there are certain events that will take place to change my current course; or end it even, but no way to know ‘which comes first’. Its all random numbers now. Roll the bones,,,,