In a better place today

Apologies to all: Last eve was a catharsis I was in need of and had no idea.    Pulled ALL of the scabs off old (REALLY old) wounds and let some pressures off.   Admittedly, most of those old wounds were self-inflicted, and the ones that weren’t directly “muzzle to big toe” self inflicted, were due to actions I started (here, have gun, shoot me! sorts )

And even with a fifth of rye down the gullet, I awoke NOT HUNG OVER,,,  

and in a much better frame of mind about my current position in space-time.

Lonely?    Yah,a little bit,,,,   been 16 frillin years since I lived with anyone else, other than furry buddies.    Won’t lie about it, sometimes the walls aren’t your best friends when the dark nights get longer.   Add in some silly glitch in the matrix that brings up hauntings and ghosts of the past,,,

yah, bad night.

Much better mornin’

Went to the lake today.   Even had Lyssa on the water for a short spell.   TOO DAMNED COLD.   That wind cutting across a mile of open water was sharp like razors and what little mist was up was hitting like a full auto pellet gun.   Shit hurt!!!   Ducked back to shore FAST and called it good.    Even with proper gear, there is still exposed skin, and by the time I hit land, my exposed skin looked bright pink, like I had been smacking it repeatedly.  

And that cold ass water hitting the open nerve endings on my exposed digit end,,,,,,,   PURE TORTURE.   

Masochistic, I am not. (ok, somewhat, but not to THAT level,,,,,)

Even thought about, what with the weather being what it is, ‘may be time to put the boats up for a couple months,,,’    Problem with that,,, I’m lazy.   If at least one isn’t ready to go, on Buffalo, I won’t go when there is that perfect window of oppurtunity.     Fact is, I may even ADD a boat to the Buffalo since there may be white water days with Brudda B n crew.  THOSE happen in literal spaces of hours, not days, and if y’ain’taready,,,, MISS.   

But right now, its build fire in stove (even though its in the Forties outside) and get my chilled old bones warmed up a bit.    T’ain’t 20 sumpin anymore and I feel the cold deeper and longer than those long gone days of yore

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