That motivation thing,,,

Funny how sudden changes of plan always hit me funky.

Like Thursday.  The day started out fine, then was told that ‘we aren’t working on friday, weather!’, so I started making plans on things I could do to pass the time on friday.  Come end of day, the word was, ‘nothing pressing, but if you wanna work,,,’.    Well, not NOW; you already told me we were taking it off and I made plans accordingly.   I despise walking back on myself like that.

And now today.   Weather created many glitches to the plans I had laid and so suddenly, I had no fall back plan.

and I am sitting here trying to motivate myself to DO SOMETHING

I wanna paddle, but my plans had been to do some paddling with my sister, and now, I don’t wanna go solo,,,  I will, I guess, but the motivation to do so is sorely lacking.

I tried writing on my substack account, that flopped bigger than squat,,, where the hell are they storing my drafts?   I can’t find anything,,,   That site needs much fine tuning IMO, but tis very popular among the writing kind these days.   Guess I just have to write and fire off the posts as is, no saving drafts for edit or

well,  mehbe I need to dig in and learn a new system or forego writing over there altogether.   Right now, forego writing over there altogether until I figure out where they are hiding things.  I’m in no mood for that shit right now.

In fact, I am no mood for much of anything.   Wanna get out and see people, but feel I am in no state of social cohesiveness.  Pretty caustic actually,,,,might start a fight or three,,,

fuggit,,, get the boat out, look at trees, hang a hammock and chill somewhere for a bit, but DO NOT INTERACT WITH OTHERS,,,  thats my state right now.  

and turn the damned phone off for the day,,,,

I’m getting to the point where that phone is more the problem than the solution.   And I know, not having it, makes modern life MUCH MORE DIFFICULT.   I see it with Da and Burnout.   Da has a flip phone, Burnout hasn’t one at all.  And they struggle with dealing with things.   Da struggled hard with the Docs (until he cut them off completely)   Burnout can’t get anything done at all without using his old ladies phone and even then, people want other ways of contacting him.

Hell, my finances would fall apart with a quickness if I ditched the phone. 

I need people.   I don’t like the majority of people.   THAT’S the problem.

and the phone is no lubricant to it.

more laters when I am feeling more, dunno, better?  till then   L.L.L.L!