Tuesday, I think, mehbe

Seriously, don’t really care, except in how my hours are looking,,,  Burnout called in ‘sick’ this AM, the other brainded did as well.  Left it up to the three Old Guys to get shit done; and we did,,,  Made head way into getting two jobs started, sank dozens of posts for them and the crews will go back later to stretch the wire.  I have more gates to make, which was what I was supposed to be doing today, except the Emp Deficit meant I was needed in their stead.  Just another hat I wear: Take up the slack for the slackers hat.

Looking around, reading the world wide web and the doings of those in high places, the furhter poking of a bear that should have been left well enough alone, the further stoopidity of those that should know better, but whose actions scream they have no clue,,,

And I just can’t care,,,

Well, not true, I DO Care, the problem being, if I get anxious over it, I start to lose focus of the things I DO have control over, and my vision gets limited to fewer options.   Getting antsy over things so far out of my control does no one, especially me, any good.   I have two people (which includes myself.) directly under my perview, and I have to keep the table clear for when things do go sideways.

And I am getting quite certain they are going to go sideways THIS YEAR.  

You can smell the desperation…and not just in the politicos,,,  The feeling of fear out and about is Palpable,, People don’t know who/what to trust anymore.  I see more sidelong glances in public as people are really starting to get paranoid.

I am seeing more and more open carry on the daily , not that that is a bad thing in my book, but its showing the level of uncertainty out here.   Its a good thing because no one is raising a ruckus over it, its bad because this is an area where (until recent years) people trusted thier neighbors and leaving a door unlocked while gone was not uncommon.   That trust is showing fractures, gaping ones.  I can only imagine that in other places, that is trust is gone completely (looking at CinSin-nasty, coff coff)  Certainly was on life support (and failing) when I left there in 2010.  That was one of the factors I had in making my choice to move here. 

I wanna say that presenting a positive vibe in public will help alleviate things.    It does, it really does.   I can’t say how many people have smiled at me the last 48 hours because of my ‘vibe’.   BUT, there is a TON of negative that needs to be counter-acted on, and it takes more than just one dude feeling good about himself.   Said dude could even be targeted by some Negative filled other for reasons,,,    “How dare you be happy when the world is full of shit!” sort of reason.  (happened, don’t wanna talk about it.)

I feel like the disease is reaching terminal status, and what comes next is anyone’s guess.   Something is dying, painfully, but something else is being born.   Probably in the usual way: covered in blood and muck and screaming bloody murder.    I want to focus on that birthing.   We can’t save the old world, thats dead/dying/gone.   BUT we can help the newborn not be warped and traumatized by the dying old one.     There are enough good aspects of the old world that are worth saving, but we need to make sure they are protected solidly from manipulation; the cancer of our old world.   We need to protect the newborn from those in secret places that have destroyed the old.  Thats not going to be easy: rather like chasing ghosts.

enough for tonight.   I am hoping the brainded and burnout return to work tomorrow, but won’t be holding my breath.    Trusts get broken, they need to be re-earned, and the interest rate on that is ludicrously high.

And I don’t wanna destroy my good vibe anymore than it already has been.   Not destroyed mind you, but feeling a bit battered on.   I’m still smiling though.

Keep on livin’