Sunday mornin coffee moments

Sittin’ here with my cuppa and doin’ some t’inks,,, its the quiet part of the day where I get a moment sans katz (very small window, let me tell ya,,,) and can meditate on my internal state of mind.
Physically, I need little at this point. Buffalo can use new shoes, but that is simply a matter of budgeting for a spell. No sweat. The essentials like food, fire, water and shelter are all in place and have alternatives in most cases. That is a wealth many don’t have, and I take a small amount of pride in the fact that I have that. I sometimes feel like that status is precarious in this world, but then, I don’t think its going to get that bad either. May be wrong, but you can’t live your life worried about ‘could be’s’,,, You have to ‘TRUST’ at some point or you may as well crawl into a small hole, six feet deep and not come back out.
And that rolls me over to the other side of my thinks this mornin’. Last nights post (this means war) had me all fired up in a negative state and I had a rough night, tossin’ turnin’ light sleep when I did get some,
That ain’t no way to live either.
What to do about it, since the problem is due to external forces, not something I can alleviate internally. If it were all in me, (like anxiety on flatwater) I could do some exercises (rolling before paddling) to ease that issue. This is a case of a thief that lives right next door and has figured he can get away with ‘whatever’ now. Bringing in the law really isn’t much of an option these days since “If it ain’t on video, it didn’t happen” is the state of our law enforcement peeps. And I live on the edge or two counties and no one EVER comes out here,,, (been here 12 years, seen one cruiser in that time.). Besides, this is all petty shit that would get swept under the rug by a judge anyways; petty it may be, but its MY stuff that is going missing,,,
How do I alleviate the negatives here? Thats where my thoughts are running today. I did purchase the locking gascap and motion detector floodlight, and they are slotted to arrive this week. BUT, that does not remove the problem, it only mitigates the losses. The bastard will find something else to steal and some way to do so, and then we start another round of locking shit up
I do not like living my life under lock and keys. May as well be in prison is my way of thinking there. One of my former bosses once told me “you can tell the level of a mans stress by the number of keys on his keyring”. My keys are starting to multiply and yes, so are my stresses. There was a time not all that long ago, I could go to Brudder B’s for the WEEK, leave everything unlocked and have Unk feed the furries and knew, ABSOLUTELY KNEW, that my stuff would be intact and present when I returned. Now, I lock the house to run to town for groceries.
And I don’t want to do anything to fuck up my Karma here. Oh, so so tempting to do something ‘kinetic’, it truly is,,,, BUT, the thing that holds me back is Karma: she is a stone cold bitch. Had run ins in the past with Karma and always paid triple the cost (or more). No wanna go there, that piece of shit ain’t worth it.
And you can’t fix stoopid. I could go on and on about this fukwad but that only feeds my internal vitriol, causing further distress in my soul. Think I’m just gonna leave that right there and let it air for a bit.
Oh, there is a solution here, but not one I can take just yet, and getting to that point is another point of contention in my spirit. I could move away from this situation. Hell, I have wanted to move from here for a couple years now, leaving this wealth of basics I have built up (I can do it again, so long as I am upright and breathing,,, And not incarcerated for murder or something, that kinetic thing and Karmic payback). Da and I were supposed to go to SC and look at property 3 years ago before his heartattack,,, Now, he has the thought “gonna be here till I die” and that means Dio stays here till he dies, and well, No moves and no, I am not wishing death on my Da, just so I can move,,,, Monster I may be inside, but I ain’t that sorta monster,,,,(I DO keep putting the bug in his ear to move, even do the leg work for sites for him, but so far, no love,,,). The real internal monster is well shackled and tucked in a dark hallway back in the back. Unleashing that beast is ‘last resort’,,, Wish that “stoopid next door” would stop playing with the hasps holding that beast at bay,,,,,,
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Rainy day,,,, Kittehs did the mornin’ routines, came in shining with rain drops on fur, and are now spaced about the heater making buzzy noises,,,, Second cuppa,,,,
NEEDS.
WANTS/DESIRES
Two very different things. Be they physical, or spiritual, (and I include mental in that last) one is important, the other, not so much.
NO problems; just unseen solutions. Stop dwelling on the problem and start looking for the solution, and the stress will fall away. Can’t never did anything,,,,
and always KEEP ON LIVIN’!

You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”
– Marcus Aurelius, Meditations