That time of year again

nearly anyways,,,

Wood cutting season: the sooner you start, the better your wood is when you need it.  

And I has this feeling, this is gonna be a rough winter and Ima gonna need it.    And I am frustrated by all the other stuff going on as well, some neccesary, some desired, but all equally important to my mental well-being.

I am considering adding a propane powered wall heater to my place this year for the simple fact that I have days where I am not home, and no one AT home to keep the homefires burning,  I have said it before, the biggest thing I miss from Grid livin’ is that T-stat.   So overlooked and forgotten about until it ain’t working, or isn’t there to work.  And I have been in this place for 8 years now without a t-stat and miss that wall-wart.   It’s lack has killed some plans of mine in the past because I couldn’t leave for long periods without risking the house freezing up.  Not so much the house, but the pipes within.    I don’t think that nightmare needs explained in great detail here.  

And those days when coming home from a long day freezing at the J.O.B. and wanting to just relax and get warm are railroaded by ‘get the fire going and get the house warm FIRST’,,,,   

Lazy? no,,, but definitely a procrastination thing.   I hate the noise and risks associated with cutting wood.    Funny that,,, Noise is my biggest complaint about a lot of things these days; especially when you consider that I am nearly deaf already.  

‘Silence is golden’ means something to me these days, completely at odds to my younger days when I needed to fill the void with noises.

Guess you could say its the sign of the grumpy old bastard coming out, eh?  

Back to that space heater idea: its a wall mounted panel that uses a catalyst type heat system making radiant heat.  its meant for single rooms, but my place is 16’x 24′: about the size of most peoples living rooms.  All open space with partial walls defining spaces, and a vaulted ceiling that the walls don’t reach to.

And I wouldn’t stop using wood because of it, but wouldn’t have to worry so much about the house getting TOO cold.  In other words, It would only be supplemental, not replacement.   BUT it would fill that “Two is one, one is none” mantra of the prepper philosphy.

So why haven’t I gone that route already?    I was supposedly moving two years ago before Da had his heartattack and that move would have removed any need for that unit.  Second, I keep putting stuff like that off because I still want to make that move and don’t want to tie up a lot of time and material into something I won’t have need of later.

And the real problem, I do not like the area I live in,,,   and the reasons for that are too numerous to list, but the biggest reason is “Internet”.    As in, the options for it here are so lacking.   My cellphone is my internet connection here and that is so very fragile and limited.   I drive 20 miles away and the connection is so much better that I feel like I am hard wired into a T1 line.

Is that a sign that I am a materialist?  Or is it that I am completely spoiled by INFORMATION ACCESS.   I’m gonna go with that last, mostly because my biggest frustrations circle around ‘can’t look that up right now because signals are down’ .   I may be frustrated by lack of capitol or distance to materials, but the big frustration is denied information.  And there is that whole ‘Work from home’ thing that having full access would make possible that I currently do not have.

I’m getting older, my options are getting thinner, and I don’t like it.   Welcome to the real world Dio, right?   ‘Every breath leads me one step to my last’ as the words from Dream Theater state.  And that future doesn’t look so bright these days…   Apologies for the grey mood guys,,, Rough night last night with achy joints and muscles from the J.O.B. yesterday.   My mind is awander right now and trying to sort out priorities and sacrifices needed to accomplish the “Must” while trying to balance the “Wanna” and that always leads me to the “the grass is greener over there” thinking that I KNOW is not truth, but hindbrain still doesn’t understand.  

But those offers to move to Florida from some of y’uns,,,,, mighty tempting when I start making plans for a cold-ass winter ahead,,,,(and won’t lie, my autonomy is the biggest anchor I have.  grouping up would cut that to ribbons.)

I’ll work on my attitude more today, get myself in a brighter frame of mind and get back on here later. Maybe even have something more thoughtfilled and worth writing about than my odd life,,,