five days to solstice

A little astronomy for ya, the winter Solstice is typically Dec 21 or 22, and the actual event takes moments. Observationally, it takes three days to see the change. IE, the sun is observed as having moved one degree north at sunrise three days after ‘it died’ and stopped moving south. It’s rather strange to me that the Crucifixion and Birth are reverse order in the ‘cosmic’ sense, almost like the writers didn’t understand or misunderstood hooman psychology,,,,

Anywhoos,,,, all that is moot here’n’now; a picking of nits that means little to nothing to a majority of meatpuppets walking the planet. The biggest thing about it for me being, Solstice is now my annual ritual to take my newest kayak (whichever it is, bought or built) on the lake for ‘rebirth paddle’. Weather means nothing, I will go out there, and this year, the weather liars are predicting snow,,, YAY!!!!

Never said I was tightly wound,,,

Or maybe I am wound TOO tight,,, I dunno,,,,

My neighbor thinks I am flat whacked.

Went out this morning to get an armload of wood to revive the stove with. Not a workday so I am in my lounge about duds. Walking out to the woodshed to get that armload and she about freaks out (shes out walking the dog). Me, “what?” Her: “how can you be out here in this cold like that?!?!?!”

I’m wearing loose fitting swim trunks, and a capilene shirt with kayaking slippers on my feet.

me: “its not THAT cold!”

Now, to be honest, I ain’t gonna run around the neighborhood in that rig (with better shoes), unless I was actually RUNNING around the neighborhood in that rig (with better shoes). I generate a LOT of heat when running, and found when I was at Camp Lejuene, that as close to skin as possible made running bearable in all weather. Well, with me knees being 54 years of abused, I ain’t going to be doing much running these days. I can, but it isn’t going to be far, and more’n’likely, just to get to that bit of cover to return fire. Retreat?HELL! And not because I want to be a hero: when your 54, there ain’t no “runnin’ away”

It’s 35 outside and the high is predicted to be only seven or eight points over that by Three Pee-Em. Cold enough that there is frost on the grass, and cold ass kitteh paws when Grizzy jumps on my chest while I sit here typing this out.

We are getting sunlight today and my batteries are sucking it in (and my wallet is breathing a sigh of relief from not needing to buy fuel for the generator,,,). Had some wind decent winds yesterday and my batteries took that with what sunlight we had and I didn’t have to run the genny last night, much to mine and the kats delight (they hate that noizy thing on the porch. Not that its over-bearing or anything, its a Honda 2K and is really quiet, for a genny, but,,,, Kats,, )

Lizzy is loaded up on Buffalo, has been all week since I went out last Sunday. Yeah, I went out on the lake in December, and will yet again. Probably will again this weekend even though this week is even tighter financially than last. Seasonal work sucks ass when you have scheduled payments that need made. I make it, and I get by, but my comfort levels of scraping the bottom leave me desiring more. And that is part and parcel of my ‘escape’ plans that seem to materialize more during winter than during summer: That and Cabin Fever. Not hooking up with the Gang as much as we do in summer, and all on me on that note. (and fuel costs being what they are and needing to watch my cashflow (always out it seems,,,*sigh* ) )

New Years coming on fast and I am not making any resolutions this year (when Have I EVER made a resolution? Can’t recall) but this year will mark some changes on my end. The last month of shortened hours (four weeks, my income is less than $1200.) and I am rather sick and tired of being flat broke. Bills are getting paid, pets are being fed, but there isn’t ANY room for error ( and I have made a couple.) This year, I am going to find SOMETHING ELSEWHERE that doesn’t leave me sucking vacuum when the weather turns cold. I may have to make a minor move to make that more feasible, but I have the blessings of DA on that one, even though I have reservations of leaving him here. (and someone else pointed out: that maybe my moving off will spur him to consider doing the same,,, Maybe they’re right: will see). BUT, I can’t keep this game up and my attitude at the J.O.B. is quite toxic of late (and it ain’t never been good. Two too many bullish mentalities and opposing viewpoints on how to treat people: both client and employee, but I digress.). My biggest issues with moving off, all have pulses: DA, Voo, Mama, Grizz, and Zoomz. T’ain’t worried as much about the DA as I am about my fourfeets: they just won’t understand, and of the four, only Grizz would be capable of joining me. Mama and Voo, mehbe, but I doubt it, as they are very established in their ways. Voo isn’t a spring chicken and a move would mess with him bad. Mama, and Zoomz, are just far too ‘feral’ with others to be capable of a move, and as far as her thinking is concerned this is “HER HOUSE” and there are no others: I am permitted to reside here since I bring the foodies and keep the box clean, but she treats me like a servant, and is a spoiled Victorian age matron about it: if I don’t do the deed fast enough or well enough, I get abused (BIT!). Zoomz is more sedate that that, but still wild by any standard. Socialized with only me (his choice) and the other Fourfoots, and there are times when I come home (smelling different because I was off in the wilds doing ‘work’) where he is skittish as all get out around me: at least until I clean up some and change, then I ‘smell and sound’ right,,,,

BUT, I ain’t planning on selling the place, so they still have a home, I’ll just have to make sure to return frequently so they know I am still a presence. Grizz will likely go with me because he is the social butterfly of KAT, and will strop anyone with fingers to scritch his head. He ain’t gonna like the confined life, but, he’ll adapt.

Another issue I have been wrapping my head around, besides the fourfooted furries, is how to keep the house intact and livable while I am off earning the dough??? Well, I am going to need a heating source that is NOT dependent on manual labor to keep temps above freezing when we have weather like we do currently. I have a solutuion in mind (thanks Bruce for the link) but need to add to my debts to gain it. C’est la Vie. Feeding the fourfeets can be accomplished by Unk or Neighbor, and by adding a bit more expenditure to things, neighbor has offered to clean up everyonce in awhile for a small fee. (and even with me gone, Kats make messes. Even if its just the mess of ‘Oooohhh. Toilet paper roll, lets party!!!!’ (mama is especially known for that one when I am gone for more than a day,,,).

And thats part of what had me hesitant to move as well. Knowing that keeping this place as my retreat would cost me more,

Ok, I’ve rambled around my head enough today. Its getting (a bit) warmer out, and I have living that needs attended to. Talk laters,,,,

Addendum: I know i need to work on personal income ‘sources’, not rely on the whims of others for employment. Buggest problem I face is internal to me: Fear/self-confidence and I know a lot of it is unfounded, but still present.

maybe I just need to jumo off the diving board.