Rhyme and reason (4BCE+)

(this post is what I would have commented over at BCE’s place, but I could tell before it started that it needed ‘more space’.

There is no rhyme nor reason behind ‘Family Courts’, and hasn’t been since the late nineties at least.  That was when I had my little run in with Fam-courts, Magistrates with ‘god-like’ powers and was rewarded with my child support being tripled and made retro-active to the divorce date, 5 years prior.   I went from on time ‘respectable’ dad, to “Dead Beat Dad” with a court order hanging over my head and almost 20 grand behind.   One screw up and I would have been doing time.   And that was always my argument to the Magi: “You lock me up, I can’t make money and the problem compounds, I’ll pay what I can, and try to pay a little more,,,”

Note, All of that was for my only child.   I paid at least 4 times more in Child support in one month than some of guys do that have oodles of kids.  

There are reasons behind what happens, but that doesn’t mean that the reasons are those stated by the courts.    The Author has a plan, and we lower beings in his creation are not privy to his designs.   As you state in the follow-on post; “Life is fear and pain, Pain is Fear leaving the body”   There is a purpose to this, and it may be more simple than you can imagine.  We are tools in the grand scheme, maybe Adriana was the tool used to wake you up to something else.  Maybe YOU were the tool to start a healing process in DC and DB,  ( I wouldn’t hold breath over that though.  Too much experience with that sort: they never learn)

Maybe this was your wake up call that things really are THAT FUCKED UP, and far more than even you suspected in far more areas.   

Or maybe this was just a reminder that ‘us hard asses’ are big softies underneath it all.  We care!!!!   A Lot!!!  And why we are willing to put ourselves in bad ways: to protect those that can’t.  

All I can say about things at this stage.  Even I am getting a wake up call that things are FAR WORSE than I had considered.  The ramp up to destruction is accelerating, and “They” intend to hurt all of us as deeply as possible, maybe even more than they hate themselves.     I spent part of the day trying to figure out how someone that has made it rich, such as they have, can hate themselves so deeply and be so cowardly as to not be able to face that fact.

Easier to try and figure out what the Schizophrenic down the street is talking about: at least with that dude, his issues are open and out there.   “They” are hiding behind so many veils, both external and internal from themselves, that by the time you have stripped it all away, there is nothing left.   They are so broken repair isn’t possible.

These are the ones that have polluted our system in such a way that “Family Courts” are able to get away with “it was only trace elements, so that’s a negative to me” or “I Don’t give a damn if she is selling drugs and whoring in the living room, YOU MUST PAY THIS”.  (The courts system is 98% the reason,IMO, why my daughter has written herself out of the life of me and my immediate family, Da, and sisters .   It hurts, but until she has the revelation that the enemy is NOT ME, I can’t do anything else.) (and no, I don’t know the exact reason she has walled herself off, though I have suspicions, but until she is willing to respond to reach outs, I can do nothing else.). The whole system is fucked up, and the only benefit of it is TO the government.  its not just family courts either.  The Criminal system is even more whacked currently, as I found out personally dealing with the attempted murder crap from nearly two years back. (Don’t like to claim victim status, but when you dodge a bullet shot at you in anger,,,)

Don’t let this get to you.  IF nothing else, take the time you had and treasure it, add it to the time you have with Gran#1 still, and hope for the best, but if you let it eat away, you will start to effect the other parts of your life where you are still effective: Like making Gran#1 into a “better than her genetic sponsor” human being.  Maybe the Duece will screw up beyond reproach and you can make the effort sooner than later.   I have no other words of encouragement for you.  I don’t know enough about the system in TN to know if its honest (maybe) or as screwed up as the Foster system in KY.

What you do now is the same thing we have always done; Keep marching, there ain’t nothing back there in the past that needs you like YOU need you, right here, right now.  And while it hurts, there is a much bigger picture of what needs fixed going on.