Nudge throws a surprise left

Some of my long time readers know about Nudge. Semi-imaginary friend, Gaurdian Angel, mysterious paranormal influence, whatever ya wanna call ‘her’, but she’s been part n parcel of my life since before the Millennium bell sounded on Jan 1 2000

And I think she’s been whispering to Sarah,,,, cuz what Sara wrote, I NEEDED TO HEAR.

Been a rough week already and not a good one at all. Nothing that woulds strike the warning bells any other week: I just can’t shut down the internal dialogue and the nay-sayer side of me has been pounding the gavel way more than I like.

Its time to move on from where I am, and it won’t be easy, nor cheap, but to stay ‘settled’ much longer is going to scar my soul deep.

They say you are the average of five people you most closely associate with.

There’s damned good reason why all of my friends live over an hour away, and here local, I associate with no one but immediate family or ‘as needed’ through work. That wears a soul down too; even a curmudgeonly INTJ.

And toss in the upheaval of the world right now and the whole she-bang gets more than a little daunting in scope.

Last week was something not truly expressable. Yeh, I was the wall flower most times, just sitting and absorbing the friendship, rarely tossing in much input: thats my usual MO in social cases with more than 2 others. Some of it is due to hearing loss (mehbe more than some,,) but alot is directly my Introversion. IyamwhatIyam. But being around people that aren’t just escaping reality,,,, THAT, I needed. Yah, we drank alot, and were taking a short vaykay from ‘reality’, but we weren’t at with the fanaticism of the druggies, pillheads, and methheads, like around here. (Have ya ever, serious question here, have ya ever heard of people Huffing Freon? Its common enough around here that last year I made more cages for HVAC units than I did doglots. Talk about a short term escape policy. )

And it got my brain to tinkin’ and debating itself and current situation, and I was getting to the point where the voices (MY voices) were intruding on the external world. Probably loud enough that Nudge couldn’t get a word in edgewise, so she went lookin’ for some help.

Now I know Sarah didn’t write that post for ME specifically, but danged if it didnt resonate that way to me.

Its time to silence the crowd in my head and get them working towards an end goal. Enough with the debates, make a damned decision and DO SOMETHING.