What to say,

Thats the biggest problem with blogging.  Somedays, the answer is obvious, others,  I write, but when I re-read it, it’s twaddle and gets round filed.  There are other times what I write is so danged personal, I round file it because its just not in my nature to expose that much of myself to the world.  I am sure that there are some that say “publish it! We want to know the ‘real’ Dio.”   Wish granted, a little, and just this once!

One thing that did come to mind was during a cold snowy night of reflection.   Its amazing how the depths can be plumbed while listening to the pitter-patter of snow on the roof, dog snores and the sound of a crackling fire while you watch said fire.
Joy.  What gives a person Joy?
In my case, I concluded it was, beyond a doubt, making. I looked back and realized that all my joyous times revolved around something I had made/restored/reclaimed.   My motorcycle days were the best on an old bike I had pulled out of a salvage yard and restored and modified.  A Yamaha Virago 920 melded with 750 parts.    My first(actually all of them, but,,,) X/1-9 was a salvage job: many joyous moments with that one.  My house,  even in its current ‘waiting to be finished’ state.  
And of course the current build of the kayak ‘Duh!kee’.   
The build alone is not the only side of that joy, its the use and exposition of it.  When people ask, and I can say “I did that”, is one of the few times where this introvert becomes excitably extroverted.  Some have said its bragging,  but its the way I have found that I can open the doors to people without having to let down the walls that protect my heart and soul: (and if you are reading between the lines, I just wrote volumes about myself.    Shhhh, dont tell, ‘K?)
The buying of things does not give me that joy.  Granted, I have had to buy the derelict toys to be retored, or the parts to make things right, but thats a process, not the end means: totally different set of emotive processes.  I have bought 2 new cars, vicariously,  in my life.  Both for the significant other(s) in my life.  Never for myself.   I saw the joy they got from them and knew I would never feel it myself.
I could extrapolate several reasons, but the main reason,  to me, is in potential.  A new car is at its peak, only downward can it go.  A derelict is on the other end of that spectrum and that ‘bringing it back’ or ‘taking raw materials and making something’ ; that is where my joy resides.  I am a maker, builder,  and maybe just a touch crazy, but, thats what I am, and this late in the game, I can’t change, and wouldn’t want to anyway.  

Alright, I’m closing that door again.  Hope ya liked the glimpse inside.